Titien’s symptoms continue to change. Unfortunately, not for the better. She has almost no strength left in her muscles. I suspect the cause for this is the progress of her brain tumor, the high dosage of cortisone, and the fact that her muscles are breaking down due to lack of exercise.

That’s why her head always hangs to the side when she sits. That’s why it’s really a tour de force for me now to move Titien back and forth in the apartment.

To stabilize her head, I bought her one of those horseshoe-shaped travel pillows. One of those that make it easy to recognize passengers at airports who otherwise never fly. It is made of memory foam and has a washable cover. Titien loves her pillow, so these things are obviously good for something.

Her non-functional neck muscles were also the reason why we didn’t use the wheelchair to feed the ducks during the last days. She feels very uncomfortable when her head bangs uncontrollably to the right, left, front or back, when I push her with the wheelchair over the edge of a sidewalk, or when we drive on not completely flat paved roads.

I bought her a professional extrication collar for this purpose, which fixes her head so that we can get out using the wheelchair with a clear conscience. We regain quality of life and the animals in the nearby park continue to be fattened. This was her happiest moment yesterday.

My muscle weakness

I look after Titien alone, so I’m with her all day and make sure that she gets from bed to bath, shower, toilet, living room, sofa and dining table. Every walk means that I have to lift her up (supporting her head), move her to the toilet chair, which has been converted into a wheelchair by a seat cushion (fasten the brakes before lifting her over), and then drive her through the apartment with it, to lift her again and move her.

She can no longer support me with her own strength when moving her. Titien is as heavy as a sack of potatoes (or a sack of rice?) and unfortunately the back and forth heaving does not leave me unscathed. Since the weekend I have a veritable lumbago – although I always make sure to lift her from the knees and keep my back straight, as any physiotherapist would recommend.

I am writing this article for example on my laptop lying on my yoga mat. So the back is halfway painless. So now, I also don’t leave Titien alone when taking pills. While she takes her cortisone, I take my dose of ibuprofen.


  1. I think of you both every day. I know it is a strain for you physically, caring for your dear wife. Titien has touched my life immeasurably, and I am grateful for her words of wisdom, peace, encouragement, and love. She has described the love you two share in a way anyone should pursue for themselves. And her faith in God is so evident. I pray for peace and comfort for you both. Your strength is amazing, and I admire you for it. Please know that in thoughts and prayers you are not alone. All my best, from Fort Worth, Texas.

    1. Thank you Angela ♥️🤗
      Thank you for remembering us in your prayers and thoughts.
      I love you too ♥️😘

  2. Thank you for keeping us updated! We are praying for both of you faithfully.

    Linda Martin

    1. Thanks Linda Martin ♥️
      I really appreciate you.
      Thanks for remembering us in your prayers and thoughts 🥰
      God bless you too

  3. I really wish I could fly to German to see Titien and help around! Pray for both of you! on Christ’ love!

  4. Dear Tobias,
    Please stay strong and remember to take care of yourself. I can understand how difficult it is to be a caregiver and not have respite. You are amazing and a wonderful loving husband to Titien. We are forever grateful for the love and attention that you give to keep Titien comfortable during these times. Much love to Titien and you. 🤗 ❤️

    1. Thanks Jackie ♥️
      Yes Tobias is a wonderful husband.
      I am loved and very blessed and comfortable with Tobias
      Please keep him in your thoughts ♥️🥰
      Thank you ♥️

  5. Hi Tobias,

    Please know that there are so many of us who carry you and Titien in our hearts, every day. Although we cannot help with the physical, we send our emotional strength and love to you both, across continents and oceans.

    We love you 💛

  6. Tobias you are equally eloquent of a writer as your wife. 😎😎😎😎Really love your humor too. I often read Titien’s and your blog postings several times because I so enjoy the life you guys share with us. Your writing and photos – they’re so deep and inspiring and introspective and light hearted at times. I’m so grateful for you both!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

%d bloggers like this: