what a surprise- surprise 🤣
I thought it’s gonna be my last post .
I’m still here. 🤣
I’m still writing while I still can 🤪😜☺️
and I won’t claim again to write my last post.
I will just keep writing for as long as I can.

Somehow, I wanted to share with you about what was on my mind lately 😉☺️
About forgiveness 😊🙃

As per today, the COVID-19 pandemic already affected 213 countries, more than 11.7 million people, and has taken more than 540.000 lives.

Many parts of the world,
struggling with starvation,
struggling with food insecurity,
because of the pandemic.


I received messages from friends and acquaintances like this:

  • What is exactly your illness Titien? (Just read up on it here)
  • What time is it now in Germany? (Google it)
  • I heard this supplement will cure cancer! (They don’t)
  • Do you want to buy this supplement from me? (I find it appalling to try tp make money of a dying person)
  • Don’t eat meat! (No reason not to)
  • Don’t eat any sugar! (No scientific basis this has any effect)
  • Stop drinking honey, it’s high in sugar. (Why should I drink my tea tasteless)
  • Want to be a supplement member? I give you special prices. (See answer above)
  • Try this diet! (No. I eat what I want)
  • Try this herbal. (It tastes horrible and has no proven benefit)
  • Giving me a bunch of advices.
  • Etc.
    Hello, I am dying here.

often these comments make me feeling hurt.
Often, I feel the people posting them don’t really care.
In my heart, instead of feeling relief,
I felt bitterness and anger choked me.
And the desire to punish them,
by withholding genuine affection,
I became preeminent in my thoughts and feelings.

Forgiveness is one of the most expensive things I can do.
When someone has wronged me,
when someone has hurt me,
when someone has offended me,
and I have to choose not to respond with anger but with love?
it’s one of the costliest emotional trials I will ever go through.
It is very hard, sometimes I want to forgive,
yet I still find it hard to do so.


I am pained,
to admit that I have these feelings at all.
I know I should be overflowing with forgiveness.
Yet, it’s easier to say than truly do it.
An unwillingness to forgive,
locks me up in bitterness,
and throws away the key.
It enslaves me to ingratitude,
and chokes me out of gratefulness.
It prevents me from experiencing the freedom that comes with free-flowing grace.
I have ensuing desire to punish those who have hurt me.

But, my Heavenly Father,
reminds me,
forgiveness is unlimited.
He forgives me when I’m a sinner.
He forgives me when I’m undeserved.

When I fail to forgive,
I fail to recognize my own debt.
I fail to appreciate the reality,
of the limitless scope of forgiving grace,
on my savior Christ Jesus.

He demonstrates,
that I have no position to withhold
forgiveness from each other.

I learned God loves me even when my life is wrong;
I learned God loves me even when my thought is wrong,
I learned God loves me even when my speech is wrong.

I learned to be generous to forgive them,
I learned to give to Heavenly Father the hurts I have suffered and endured,
sometimes I can or cannot reconcile and restore relationship with them.

often people hurt us,
without knowing it,
we ought to forgive them.
It frees us from bondage.

now we understand,
the very heart of God,
let’s be kind to one another,
let’s be tenderhearted,
let’s be forgiving to each other,
just as Christ Jesus also has forgiven us.


Check this out:

“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭4:31-32‬ ‭ESV‬‬

3 Years 2 months Post Biopsy
Midline Pontine Glioblastoma/DIPG Grade IV

Now, Tobias takes care of me completely.
I 100% depend on Tobias, on everything.
I can’t hold my neck anymore.
I fall whenever I don’t sit up straight.
I lost all of my muscles and functions.

Last week, a special bed was delivered to our home.
I can with the push of some buttons change the head angle, bed hight and leg space inclination.
so in the morning Tobias can move me there and I have it easier to breathe.

I am getting worse rapidly, day by day.
Following the advice of my doctors, I keep decreasing dexamethasone in 2 mg increments every few days.
I am retaining so much water in my body.
I currently take 6 mg after breakfast (9 am), 6mg after lunch (2 pm ).

Dexamethasone doesn’t slow down my symptoms from worsening.
Yesterday I was still able to control my balance,
not to fall.
Today, I cannot control my balance anymore.
I am getting weaker everyday.

We learned about pain management,
we’re good now.
Tobias gave me 10 drops of diazepam to relax the muscles and 40 drops of novalgin,
so I can sleep well.

Honestly, I cry a lot lately.
Not because I am sad,
but because I am touched,
I am so loved unconditionally by Tobias ♥️.
I depend 100% on him.
I have to learn to be patient with myself and trust that I don’t burden Tobias.

He is in pain too.
He needs to lift me up and hold my neck and head,
whenever I need him.

I am 100 % crippled,
I am 100 % disabled,
I 100 % lost my muscles,
I 100 %. lost my functions ,
I know ,
I can’t do anything about it.
Just so thankful for Tobias ♥️

Tobias has cancelled all of his seminars and workshops from now on forward.
He is now just focusing on my needs.
Tobias hugs and kisses me a lot,
he shows affection to me a lot,
I can’t hold anymore my neck and going out by wheelchair causes my head to flip and flop.

Tobias ordered a head stabiliser.
So, I can still go feeding ducks 🦆.
(Don’t worry, we feed them with unflavored sunflower seed)
It makes me extremely happy 😃

Often, I watch the birds on our balcony,
they also make me extremely happy.
I love you, my Tobias ♥️.

Please remember Tobias in your prayers and thoughts.
Please remember Tobias as your beloved friend.
He needs strength more than ever now.
He needs encouragement more than ever now.
He needs your support more than ever now.
He needs you.
He is my love ♥️
He is my everything ♥️.

Please go to “My Medical History” for more details.

Thanks for keeping us in your prayers 🙏

PS: Thank you for reading, commenting and sharing my posts.
Please subscribe to get updates by mail 🤗

Neck holder. So I can still see ducks 🦆😁
Feeding ducks 🦆 and coypu 😂
Neck holder. Well, it’s not comfortable.
But it helps me to hold firm my neck,
while walking to the park 😉
At home, I use pillow to sustain my neck and head 🙃
Swan wasn’t happy with me 😡
Don’t know why wanted to attack me all time 😬
Feeding ducks 🦆
At other location 🦆👍😆
Beautiful birds 🐦🤗🥰🦆
Ok friends thank you for sending us a lot of sweets and chocolate 🍭🍫🍬
This morning ♥️ The Maiers

29 Replies to “FORGIVENESS”

  1. Hello my friend ♥️
    Yet again, you taught me something new…at first I was like “that’s a interesting duck 😳” but learned it was a Coypu! And, they have orange teeth!

    I’m so thankful you were able to see the ducks & Tobias ordered you the stabilizer…he is honestly the best- crazy how life works that way. I’m so Pharrell Happy to see your post today ♥️So much long distance love & hugs

    1. Thanks Karen.
      Let’s Pharrell happy then 🤣😝😂😘😍😊
      And yep, ducks 🦆 and coypu quite lucky and fed up these days 😁🤣
      Yep, I have a crazy husband who love me unconditionally. Wonder why he is so much love me 🧐

  2. Titien, I was sooo very happy to read from you again. I am so happy you chose to write again. I had tears of joy, I was so happy 🙂
    And again, very interesting article you wrote. It is very hard to forgive those who hurt us deeply. It is something I have to learn as well. We are all human beings and feel hurt and sad when people do us wrong. But we need to forgive others to find peace. And I hope the people I did wrong in my life, forgive me my faults as well. I pray for you and your whole family. God bless you, Titien and Tobias.

    1. Thanks Mari,
      let’s Pharrell happy then 🤣😉🤗👍
      And no, you wrong me nothing.
      I barely know you 😝🤣
      Love you 😍

  3. Thank you for your words, Titian. Praying for you and Tobias.

    Love from your sister in Christ,


  4. Dear Titien, you are the most active and strongest girl I ever met. I can’t believe you can share you life and optimistic attitude with your painful body. U r the best girl. I miss you a lot.

    1. Hi Emma ♥️
      Thank you 🥰
      Honestly I am weak
      But my God and my Tobias are strong 💪🤣😃😁
      I am the luckiest girl in the world 🤣
      I love you too ♥️🥰

  5. Titien, I am so happy to see your post today. God continues to use you for His purposes, teaching others about forgiveness. He first forgave us, and we are to follow our Lord’s example. I know you draw on our Lord and Tobias for strength and that you make a conscious decision to do so. You two show others the importance of living life fully every day, even with challenges and struggles facing us. I have wished for quite some time that I had met Tobias and you, to thank you in person for the difference you make. If I lived near you, I would help you both every day if needed. So, from a distance I pray and think of you both, hoping prayers and thoughts somehow send strength, peace, and comfort to you both. Please know how much comfort and joy you give to people. You have run this race faithfully, and I believe our Savior will tell you “well done” when you meet face to face. I pray for ease, quiet, rest, and love for you both. Continue to hold God and Tobias close, as they are holding you too. Love and hugs from across the world.

    1. Hi Angela,
      Thank you so much for your encouragement and kind comments ♥️🥰
      I’m sure we become a very good friend if we live nearby, you’ll bake me often cakes 🍰 😂
      Till we meet again, keep shining, happy and healthy ya ♥️
      I love 💕 you too 😘

  6. Praying for you and your husband!!!! Praying for you to be pain free and in comfort. Praying for Tobias as I am so sure he wishes he could make it better and take it away. When my son was diagnosed with his brain stem tumor I immediately wanted to have God give it to me. Many guilt feelings for it not to be me. It’s great to be able to love that much and be loved like that. Enjoy everything that makes you happy and brings you peace. God bless both of you

    1. Thanks you Melanie ♥️
      For your kindness and prayers
      A very deep hugs to you ja ♥️
      I love you ♥️
      God bless you too

  7. So thankful that you are able to share such wisdom through your journey. God has given you such a spirit of His Love and forgiveness. A wonderful reminder for all of us to forgive as Christ has forgiven us. Praying 🙏 for you and Tobis today. Hugs from afar.🤗

  8. So thankful that you are able to share such wisdom through your journey. God has given you such a spirit of His Love and forgiveness. A wonderful reminder for all of us to forgive as Christ has forgiven us. Praying 🙏 for you and Tobis today. Hugs from afar.🤗

  9. Your answers to those questions are so funny! They really made me laugh and I thank you for that.

    Your posts are very inspirational and insightful. You and Tobias have incredible strength. I wish you all peace and the very best in everything.


    1. Thanks Teresa ♥️
      Thanks for reading my stories, and remembering us in your thoughts 🥰👍😊

  10. Hi Titien! I’m super happy to read another of your posts! 🥳
    Your duck feeding photo is marvelous 🤩

    Forgiving is really one of the most difficult things to do. The event where you have been treated wrong or got hurt always comes back to your mind. Forgiveness can bring closure to your mind. But it’s really hard to overcome the desire to lash out and blame the wrongdoer.
    Maybe it’s a good idea to tell the person what was wrong and hurtful but resolve it with forgiveness. Giving the wrongdoer a chance to improve.

    Lots of hugs and spicy greetings 🌶️

    1. Hello Holger 🌶
      I’m very happy when I received your comments 😂
      Yeah, sometimes I patiently forgive and explain.
      Sometimes they’re just stubborn, and thought they’d right 🥺 *sigh*. And I just hide on Heavenly Father and said forgive them they don’t understand.
      Spicy greetings too Holger.
      Oh by the way, now we have 2 big pots and 1 little pot of you 🤣
      Love you ♥️

      1. Wow, I multiply quite rapidly. Didn’t know I had that in me 😄

        True, sometimes they insist even when they’re doing something wrong. Some do not want to improve.


  11. Dear Titien,

    I am so happy to be able to read another valuable life lesson from you on your blog! I hope to read as many more as you have the strength to share with us! You’re insightful and inspirational ❤

    And also hilarious! 😂 You do make me laugh as well as reflect.

    You brighten my day 🤗

    Love from New Zealand. Thank you for still being here!

    Emily ❤🌶🦆🐀❤

    1. Hi Emily ♥️
      Thanks for reading my stories 👍😊
      I am happy too
      Seems we’re brighten each other days 😃😊
      I never been to New Zealand 🇳🇿
      But I heard a lot about it
      I love you too ♥️🥰

  12. Hi dear Titien. Another treat to read your thoughts. Forgiveness must be one of the hardest challenges to our human psyche. I, like many live a life burdened by things and people that need to be forgiven, but haven’t ……..yet 😝
    Every now and then we hear about a great forgiveness, and it almost shocks us.
    Invariably, it involves reaching out beyond ourselves for the strength to forgive.
    People like you Titien, (and Leila), through finding grace, become the face of God.
    Love , Marcus 😘😍

  13. Hi Titien, first of all please accept my apologies if I’ve in any way unintentionally hurt you by advising you to try supplements or recommended diet! It was out of a pure concern for you and no other motive, as it really worked for my uncle and many others. And I’ve been doing research myself and there are scientific papers, that’s why I thought I want to share with you and hope it can help you in someways and nothing more, Ultimately, it is your choice! Praying for you and Tobias always!

    Love you lots!

    1. Haha Ashlee ♥️
      You’re my best friend and I knew your intention.
      It’s a totally different things.
      From you I knew it’s a different motive and you’re just want me good.
      All good Ashlee 😊👍🥰
      No worries, me and Tobias knew and understood.
      By the way, just now, an acquaintance of mine tried to sell me a supplement again. After I published a post about it haiyaaaa 🙃😩
      Sometimes they’re just stubborn 😩😖
      Love you ♥️

      1. Love you, babe so much!! I’ve seen so much goodness and amazing things that God has done in you and Tobias life!! Continue to glorify His name by your writing! I’m praying for you everyday!

  14. Thank you, our beloved sister, Titien. I am so ashamed of myself when reading your post on forgiveness. Pray for our heavenly father make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

%d bloggers like this: