Friends, I’m still here.
So, I’m very happy to share with you again the thoughts I had lately.🤗
Honestly, this gonna be my last post 😊.
I hope you won’t forget me fast 😁.
Especially when you see chili 🌶 and ducks 🦆 and birds on your balcony 🐦, remember me 😊

I recommend you subscribe to my website,
So, whenever you miss me and want to read my stories,
anytime you can always read again what I wrote, neatly put into different categories on my blog.

As per today, the COVID-19 pandemic already affected 213 countries, more than 11.7 million people, and has taken more than 540.000 lives.

people are seriously ill,
people are dying,
it’s beyond just being numbers, research and statistics.
It’s us, humanity.

one early morning,
I woke up crying,
Tobias was sleeping soundly,
I cried quietly because I look at God, yet I can’t see His face,
but I felt I am so known,
I am so loved.


I have His mercies.
He gave me all I don’t deserve,
eternal love,
eternal grace,
eternal joy,
eternal life,
honor, glory, wisdom, hope,
and much more.
I can only worship Him.

For me,
it doesn’t matter anymore,
what lyrics, what songs,
it’s not the point,
I just worship Him in spirit and in truth,
from my heart.

I just adore and am thankful for Him for what He has done for me.
I love Him.
I just want to glorify my Heavenly Father.


I have been saved for 3 years now.
I know that time will come,
I will walk personally with Him.
In eternity.

I am excited,
I have no fear,
because I’m loved,
not only by God,
but also by Tobias. ♥️

This is what my life is all about,
a key to joyous living,
a key to a meaningful life,
a purpose in life,
that is to worshipping Him.

I am always honest with Him.
If I have fears,
I tell Him about it,
if I have sorrows and feel discouraged,
I tell Him about it.
I always walk with Him.
I don’t have doubts,
but only trust Him.
I know He holds me in His hand,
He never forsake me.

whatever you’re facing currently,
easy or hard circumstances,
just hang in there.
Sooner or later,
you’ll know,
there’s a purpose in life,
for everyone of us.
To love Him and to worship Him.
To thank Him and to adore Him.
Because you’re made complete and loved,
in Christ Jesus, our savior.


Check this out:

“And Jesus answered him, “It is written, “‘You shall worship the Lord your God, and him only shall you serve.'””
‭‭Luke‬ ‭4:8‬ ‭ESV‬‬

3 Years 2 months Post Biopsy
Midline Pontine Glioblastoma/DIPG Grade IV

Now, Tobias takes care of me completely.
I 100% depend on Tobias, on everything.
I can’t hold my neck anymore.
I fall whenever I don’t sit up straight.
I lost all of my muscles and functions.

On Friday, a special bed was delivered to our home.
I can with the push of some buttons change the head angle, bed hight and leg space inclination.
so in the morning Tobias can move me there and I have it easier to breathe.

I am getting worse rapidly, day by day.
Following the advice of my doctors, I keep decreasing dexamethasone in 2 mg increments every few days.
I am retaining so much water in my body.
I currently take 6 mg after breakfast (9 am), 6mg after lunch (2 pm ).

Dexamethasone doesn’t slow down my symptoms from worsening.
Yesterday I was still able to control my balance,
not to fall.
Today, I cannot control my balance anymore.
I am getting weaker everyday.

I have cramps in my feet and legs,
It’s so painful.
In the early morning I was crying,
because it was so painful.
We tried out all the pain killers we have available
Morphium made me dizzy.
Tonight we learned about pain management,
so I think we’re good now.
Tobias gave me 10 drops of diazepam to relax the muscles and 40 drops of novalgin,
so I can sleep well.

Honestly, I cry a lot lately.
Not because I am sad,
but because I am touched,
I am so loved unconditionally by Tobias ♥️.
I depend 100% on him.
I have to learn to be patient with myself and trust that I don’t burden Tobias.
Everyday I have to deal with the feeling as if my head is in a cloud,
Tobias brings me to the toilet whenever I need to go,
he lifts me and holds my neck and head carefully,
he moves my body according to how I want it,
he sits me up straight on the sofa,
he sits me up early in the morning so I can breathe,
he showers me in the morning,
he creams my body after showering,
he prepares breakfast, lunch, coffee, and dinner,
he knows I drink my tea with honey,
I communicate with Tobias mostly by typing on my phone or by pointing fingers.
I keep asking him for eye drops all the time,
I have severe head pressure,
I have severe double vision,
I deal with tingling pain 24/7,
I need help with everything.
I lost control over most of my bodily functions.
I lost control over all my muscles.

Tobias has cancelled all of his seminars and workshops from now on forward.
He is now just focusing on my needs.
Tobias hugs and kisses me a lot,
he shows affection to me a lot,
I can’t hold anymore my neck and going out by wheelchair causes my head to flip and flop.
This is very painful and I can’t feed the ducks 🦆anymore.
Tobias ordered a head stabiliser.
Lets hope it arrives soon.
But I can watch the birds on our balcony,
They make me extremely happy.
I love you, my Tobias ♥️.

Please remember Tobias in your prayers and thoughts.
Please remember Tobias as your beloved friend.
He needs strength more than ever now.
He needs encouragement more than ever now.
He needs your support more than ever now.
He needs you.
He is my everything ♥️.

Please go to “My Medical History” at for more details.

Thanks for keeping us in your prayers 🙏

PS: Thank you for reading, commenting and sharing my posts.
Please visit my website for more stories. 🤗

Saturday morning routine. I struggle to hold my neck 😂
Saturday morning breakfast 🥨
Rosinen Brötchen (raisins bun , one of my favorite 😂)
Monday morning photo 😊
Tobias is shirtless 😂
Neighbor keeps feeding us with cake 🍰
Tobias is the best barista ☕️
Tuesday morning photo .
Tobias is shirtless again 😂
Well, recently it’s hot here 🥵😜
Greetings from the Maiers ♥️
Though I never met you in person
Some of you so familiar
Thank you so much
for reading my stories
You have no idea
your encouragement, uplifting comments, heartwarming messages,
truly makes me
Pharrell happy 🥰🤗
I really appreciate you.
For being there for me.
Thank you my Friends.
Though we only met online,
but I always love you.
Thank you ♥️🥰♥️
I wish I can deep hugs you 🤗
I blow you a kiss 💋
Till we meet again 😁
Keep shining, stay happy and healthy my friends.
Don’t forget
This morning photo
My piri-piri chili 🌶
Third year 😲
Tobias said it’s looking good.
It may harvest again this year 👍😊
My essential medicine 😁


  1. Dear Titien,
    I was so sad to read that this will be your last posts. And it is impossible to forget you. You are and always will be an inspiration for me. I am sad, but also angry that such a good and wonderful person as you has to endure this terrible illness. There are so many horribel and cruel people in the world, who are perfectly healthy, but good, kind and loving people get terrible illnesses. Life is so unfair. You will always, always be in my thoughts and prayers. You and your family. Much love and God bless you!!

    1. Haha, all good Mari ♥️
      It’s natural.
      One day we’ll meet each other.
      Till then, keep shining, stars happy and healthy.
      All the best in life.
      Love you ♥️🤗

    2. Hi Mari 😊😊
      Yep, life is unfair. Punch pillow 😂
      Thank you for thinking of us.
      I wish you all the best in life ya
      Stay shining, happy and healthy ♥️
      I love you too ♥️😁

      1. 我相信你还在!不管在什么地方!但是你的 STORY永远留在我心中!加油!!! JESUS ALWAYS BE WITH YOU CI TITIEN AND KO

  2. Dear Titien,
    Greetings from Los Angeles!

    You are a strong, beautiful, and inspirational person who will be remembered by many. Your positive outlook towards life is a blessing to all. Thank you for sharing your words with us. May God protect you and your family, providing peace and comfort. 🙂

  3. Dear Titien, we don’t know each other, but I have been following your story with admiration, inspiration and love. Thank you for sharing your story with the world. I’m praying for you. Lots of love, Olivia

    1. Thanks Olivia ♥️🤗🥰
      I love you too ♥️
      One day we will know each other ja 😁🥰🤣

  4. Hi Titien. I pray that this is NOT your last post. Darling girl, you are treasured and so loved.

    Your blog has been a source of refuge to me, and inspiration. You SHINE so brightly as a human being, one of the greatest. Ever.

    I promise to remember you always. Ducks 🦆, ducks with tails 🐀 chili 🌶

    You have become a profound and lasting impact upon my life. Your writings are amazing.

    Just love you x

    Tobias ❤

  5. Hi Titien,
    Greeting from China & HK as always.

    Thank you for sharing you words with us. I was deeply encouraged and find strength again in life. Will keeping praying for you and Tobias, both of you have the most beautiful and strongest soul. May god bless you and your family.

  6. Titien,

    It’s always wonderful to read your thoughts and whatever God has put on your heart. They are inspirational and I will come back and read. That you thought to leave a last post and share your love and hugs just shows how beautiful you are.

    You will fly to eternity and become perfect in a place we are just trying to reach ourselves. I continue to pray for healing and comfort for Tobias heart and for you.

    Lastly, I am very sad. Because it’s not fair and I hate this disease!!

    It’s been wonderful following you. Such an affirmation of faith. A hug to you. A huge bear hug from your sister in Christ. A kiss blown.

    I will be here should you decide to write again. Thank you for sharing your story with us.

    Love, Shakira

    1. Thanks Shakira ♥️
      Thank you for reading my stories and writing me encouraging comments ☺️
      You’re so kind and sweet.
      Kisses too 😘
      Titien 🤗

  7. Dear Titien,

    you are an admirable person and you tought me a lot about life and the Lord.


  8. I didn’t want to leave a comment because I don’t even know what to say ♥️Thank you for making me a better person Titien . I recently found an adorable Tit mug & I bought a couple, thinking of you. I will send them to DIPG kids/families in memory of you. So many hugs & much love to you & Tobias

    1. Thanks Karen ♥️😊
      Thanks for saying I make you a better person 😆🤣 you’re funny 😄
      Much love to you too
      Till then, keep shining stay happy and healthy
      Love you K

  9. Dear Titien,
    I’ve been following your story and looked forward to reading your posts. Sad to know that this will be your last. Thank you for sharing your life with us. You and Tobias have created wonderful memories. Thank you to Tobias for being a loving and amazing partner to you. You and Tobias are in my thoughts. 🤗

  10. I recently found you on Facebook and followed your story. I want to tell you that all my admiration for that willpower, love and dedication on a daily basis and in the same way for Tobias. I know it is not easy and it is not easy for me, 2 months ago my angel Emma won her wings from this same disease, it was not an easy or pleasant process, but with love everything is possible and with that Faith in God, that Faith that keeps you on your feet. Although I do not know you, I send you a big hug and I will have you in my prayers. Greetings From Costa Rica.

    1. Hi Ana,
      Thank you ♥️
      Yes, it’s not easy at all.
      I believe Emma will greet me,
      I will hug her ♥️😊.

      I wish I can deep hugs you now.
      Stay strong ok
      Stay happy and healthy.
      All the best in life.
      I love you ♥️

  11. Dear Titien, my dear angel … I wish you all the best on your journey. I feel very lucky to have met you … the only thing I regret Is not having done it in person and being able to give you a hug full of love and life.

    Thank you Tobias, thank you very much for taking care of Titien. You are a wonderful person. Be strong! You are not alone! We will take care of you❣️

    Everything will be fine🙏🏼❤️

    1. Thank you Tania ♥️
      Hug you back 🤗😊🥰
      Yep, everything will be fine 😘👍😊

      Thanks ♥️ Tania

  12. Dear Titien,
    I wish this won’t be your last post but I understand your struggle everyday, with each day being worse than the one before.
    I will never forget you and and heart warming insightful blogs posts. Many made me self reflect. Considering viewpoints. Thank you so much for that. And cheers to Tobias for never letting you down. He is truly unique.

    Greetings from the sink

    1. Hi my chili plant, 😂
      Thank you for reading my stories.
      Thank also for always making me laugh 😂
      3 times out from my sink 🙃🤣
      I wish you all the best in life Holger♥️
      Adios my friend
      I love you ♥️

  13. Dearest Titien,
    Gosh, I will really miss your wonderful posts. We all care so much for you, my friend. It will be comforting though to return to your page and re-read all the inspiration and beauty you bring to life…all through the eyes of a gifted and beautiful woman.
    I will continue to send prayers and love to you and your Tobias.

    Your sister in Jesus Christ ~ Lisa

    1. Thanks Lisa 😊
      Thanks for reading my stories and remembering us in your prayer ♥️🤗😄
      You’re so kind and sweet
      Till then, keep shining and happy and healthy.
      Wish you The best in life ja
      ❤️ love, T

  14. Titen,. You will never be forgotten. You have made an unforgettable impact on my life as well as many others. Your faith inspires me in my walk with Christ. I pray for peace that passes all understanding for you 🙏. Until I get to meet you in Heaven, know how loved you are. Praying for Tobias also. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful song.

    1. Thanks Judi 😊
      Yep, see you in heaven.
      Till then, keep shining, happy and healthy ya.
      Wish you nothing but the best in life 😊♥️

  15. Dear Titien,

    I think you’re the best thing that ever happened to my good friend Tobias. It’s been heartbreaking to watch you both go through this over the last few years, but we and so many people we know have been so amazed and inspired by both of you, your strength, and your ability to filter out everything except the best in this world and in life.
    You can go knowing that Tobias will be well taken care of by everyone who knows him – that’s what happens with good angels.

    Take care, sweetheart.

    Gavin and Sònia

    1. Thanks for being an awesome friend.
      Whenever I went to Barcelona
      I always had fun!♥️🥰
      Really enjoyed it.
      Sònia, your kids.
      All fun, and funny thanks Gavin for everything
      Thanks for being so supportive to tobias too
      I love you
      And it’s my privilege to know you
      I hope all the best in life for you ya
      Love, ♥️🥰😘 T

  16. I will remember you and Tobias in my prayers. You have a powerful love story and such a beautiful heart for Jesus. You have deeply touched my life. Thank you for sharing your journey.

    1. Thank you for reading my stories Hillary ♥️😘
      Love you, T♥️
      All the best in life ja

  17. Dear Titien,
    you are one of the bravest women I have ever seen!! You tought me so much ❤️ Because of you-I really know whats important in life. Not the fancy car or the expensive dress-just the life itself!! Thank you so much for these lessons. I will carry you in my heart 4ever. Tobias, you are just an angel sent from heaven!!! You guys are wonderful-your love is so beautiful. I pray for you both. Lots of love Ines

    1. Thank you Ines ♥️
      Well, I still want just one try fancy car though 😂 haha
      I wish you all the best in life ya
      Love you 😘♥️😊

  18. Titien,
    Please say hi to us from time to time up there. Will always remember the party you had at Lianbao when I first met you.

    Love you and will miss you. See you again sometime, in Heaven, I hope!


    1. Haha 😆
      Yep Rob, we will one day meet in heaven.
      Till then, wish you the best in life ya ♥️🥰😁

  19. I’m selfish. I am going to miss your posts…they have taught me so, humbled me, and reminded me of why I am here. I don’t want them to stop, and for my selfishness I ask for forgiveness. You still, in all the seriousness that your situation requires, find the humor. The sassy little humor that makes me smile instead of cry when I read your words. You are unforgettable Titien. ❤

    1. Hi Tina 😄
      You my selfish reader🤣😁
      Thank you for reading my stories my friend 😆♥️
      I will never forget you
      And I love you 🥰
      All the best in life Tina ♥️

  20. Dear Titien,
    Thank you for your truly inspirational posts. I will never forget you and you help me to put things in perspective every time I read them. And it makes me happy to read and see how deeply connected Toby and its touching me how much love I can feel just by reading your posts and seeing your pictures. My girls ask about you almost everyday. They like to dance to the song “God is good” that you recently shared.
    Love, Bettina and Family

    1. Haha Bettina ♥️
      God is good, all the time lalala 😂
      Thanks for not forgetting me
      Always remember Tobias ya
      Keep dancing and shining and happy and healthy ♥️👍😊🥰
      Love y’all

  21. I just found you today on Instgram. My heart is broken but also encouraged in hearing your story of faith a d unwavering love for the Lord. Your words will outlast generations. Your legacy impactful. You have bearded this cross with such purpose, grace, and inspiration. Hugs until we meet one day in glorious and perfect heaven.

  22. I just found you today on Instgram. My heart is broken but also encouraged in hearing your story of faith and unwavering love for the Lord. Your words will outlast generations. Your legacy impactful. You have bared this cross with such purpose, grace, and inspiration. Hugs until we meet one day in glorious and perfect heaven.

    1. Hi Shan ♥️
      Thank you ♥️
      Yep one day we will meet in heaven
      Till then, stay shining, happy and healthy.
      All the best in life ya 👍
      Hug you too

      1. Thank you I will. Trying to do whatever it is God has purposed my life for. So grateful He found you 3 years ago. You have inspired me in the best way. Hugs 💗

  23. Hi Titien 姐姐
    I’ve been reading your post for a few months but I was too lazy to write a comment… my bad! You live such an amazing life with Tobias; you guys teach me what true love is. Your strength inspires me everyday. Thank you for making all these posts throughout the past 3 years and sharing your life with us. May god comfort you and keep you happy everyday. I will never forget you. I’ll open your blog every time I visit China in the future so you can *visit* the places you’ve been to. Lots of hugs to 大姐姐! 我们都会再见的!再见时你可不可以请我吃面包啊🥖🥨

    1. Haha Jane ♥️
      Let’s eat 肉松面包🤣 my favorite 😂
      Thank you for reading my stories.
      Hugs to you too
      Wish you all the best in life ya 👍🤗♥️

  24. Dear Titien, thank you for your wise words. I’ve never been a believer but reading your words takes me closer to God than ever before. Your strength is just supernatural. You must have good support. 😜 Even though this might be your last post, I will come back and read your stories. Thanks for your inspiration. Love!😁🍀🦆🌶️💪🏿

  25. Love you, Tin ❤️ I hope this will be not your last post. I have always enjoy reading them. I have dreamed of you last night, you came to me and give me some souvenirs from Jakarta then I asked you how did you get into a flight and get here in BKK. It was so strange. Will keep praying for you and your family ❤️


    1. Haha 😂
      You’re funny 😂
      That’s a very strange dream 😂
      You must be thinking of me a lot 😂
      Even though it’s short,
      Thanks for being a wonderful and fun friend in Beijing
      All the best in life for you ya
      Love you girl

  26. Sending you so much love and thoughts to you and your amazing husband.

    From Montreal, Quebec, Canada!
    Sylvianne xxx

  27. Hi Titien,

    We don’t know eachother at all, but I came across your story and have been reading your blog for the past days.
    I don’t usually comment, but I just felt this big urge to send you some love. The way you live your life full of love is very beautiful and inspiring. Thanks for sharing your story and your love!


    1. Hi Dewi ♥️,
      Thank you for reading my stories 👍🤗
      And I received your ♥️
      I ♥️🥰you too
      Have a wonderful summer
      Hugs, T

  28. Hello Titien, what a beautiful and loving woman you are. You have been through so much and yet you spread the Love of Jesus with every word. So many of us could learn so much from you! Thank you for being willing to share your struggles and your joy like this. I know God is pleased with how you are giving Him all the glory, when so many would be angry with God. But you know Him, and to know Him is to love Him. The verse that keeps coming to mind for me is this passage from Philippians 2:14-18

    “Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, ‘children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.’ Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain. But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. So you too should be glad and rejoice with me.“

    You shine like the ones Paul is talking to…and you shine like Paul, who is being poured out like a drink offering, and yet continues to be glad and rejoice and worship. What an extraordinary woman you are. And What an extraordinary man Tobias is. It will be an honor to meet you both one day on the other side.🙏🙏❤️❤️🙌🙌

    1. Hi Lisa ♥️
      I really like when you said to love Him is to know Him.
      And yes and amen for Philippians 2:14-18.
      Thank you ♥️😘😆
      I’m weak, but Tobias is so strong.
      I am beyond blessed.
      Please remember Tobias in your prayer and thoughts 😊♥️😘
      Than you.
      And yep, one day we’ll meet in heaven.
      Till then, stay shining, happy and healthy ja.
      All the best in life ♥️😘😃
      Love you

  29. Precious, beautiful Titien, my sister in Christ, you will not be forgotten. You have people all over the world praying for you. I have read your posts for over a year now, and your thoughtful, insightful words; your walk with the Lord, grace and focus on sharing the Gospel in the midst of your difficult DIPG journey, have been so meaningful to read. Thank you for posting one last time, despite all the difficulties you are experiencing. You are so special. I pray for your peace and comfort, and for Tobias, your wonderful husband. You two share a beautiful marriage. God bless you both. I pray I can meet you in Heaven one day. I will definitely think of you when I see 🦆🕊️and 🌶️. ❤️❤️
    Ijeva in Los Angeles

    1. Hehe Ijeva,
      Thanks so much ♥️
      Thanks for reading my stories.
      Definitely one day we’ll meet in heaven.
      Till then,
      Keep shining, happy and healthy.
      All the best in life ya ♥️🥰

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