Friends, I’m still here.
So, I’m very happy to share with you again the thoughts I had lately.🤗
Honestly, this gonna be my last post 😊.
I hope you won’t forget me fast 😁.
Especially when you see chili 🌶 and ducks 🦆 and birds on your balcony 🐦, remember me 😊
I recommend you subscribe to my website,
So, whenever you miss me and want to read my stories,
anytime you can always read again what I wrote, neatly put into different categories on my blog.
As per today, the COVID-19 pandemic already affected 213 countries, more than 11.7 million people, and has taken more than 540.000 lives.
people are seriously ill,
people are dying,
it’s beyond just being numbers, research and statistics.
It’s us, humanity.
one early morning,
I woke up crying,
Tobias was sleeping soundly,
I cried quietly because I look at God, yet I can’t see His face,
but I felt I am so known,
I am so loved.
:::: DIVINE CALLING
I have His mercies.
He gave me all I don’t deserve,
honor, glory, wisdom, hope,
and much more.
I can only worship Him.
it doesn’t matter anymore,
what lyrics, what songs,
it’s not the point,
I just worship Him in spirit and in truth,
from my heart.
I just adore and am thankful for Him for what He has done for me.
I love Him.
I just want to glorify my Heavenly Father.
::: ULTIMATE PURPOSE
I have been saved for 3 years now.
I know that time will come,
I will walk personally with Him.
I am excited,
I have no fear,
because I’m loved,
not only by God,
but also by Tobias. ♥️
This is what my life is all about,
a key to joyous living,
a key to a meaningful life,
a purpose in life,
that is to worshipping Him.
I am always honest with Him.
If I have fears,
I tell Him about it,
if I have sorrows and feel discouraged,
I tell Him about it.
I always walk with Him.
I don’t have doubts,
but only trust Him.
I know He holds me in His hand,
He never forsake me.
whatever you’re facing currently,
easy or hard circumstances,
just hang in there.
Sooner or later,
there’s a purpose in life,
for everyone of us.
To love Him and to worship Him.
To thank Him and to adore Him.
Because you’re made complete and loved,
in Christ Jesus, our savior.
Check this out:
“And Jesus answered him, “It is written, “‘You shall worship the Lord your God, and him only shall you serve.'””
Luke 4:8 ESV
::: UPDATE ABOUT ME
3 Years 2 months Post Biopsy
Midline Pontine Glioblastoma/DIPG Grade IV
Now, Tobias takes care of me completely.
I 100% depend on Tobias, on everything.
I can’t hold my neck anymore.
I fall whenever I don’t sit up straight.
I lost all of my muscles and functions.
On Friday, a special bed was delivered to our home.
I can with the push of some buttons change the head angle, bed hight and leg space inclination.
so in the morning Tobias can move me there and I have it easier to breathe.
I am getting worse rapidly, day by day.
Following the advice of my doctors, I keep decreasing dexamethasone in 2 mg increments every few days.
I am retaining so much water in my body.
I currently take 6 mg after breakfast (9 am), 6mg after lunch (2 pm ).
Dexamethasone doesn’t slow down my symptoms from worsening.
Yesterday I was still able to control my balance,
not to fall.
Today, I cannot control my balance anymore.
I am getting weaker everyday.
I have cramps in my feet and legs,
It’s so painful.
In the early morning I was crying,
because it was so painful.
We tried out all the pain killers we have available
Morphium made me dizzy.
Tonight we learned about pain management,
so I think we’re good now.
Tobias gave me 10 drops of diazepam to relax the muscles and 40 drops of novalgin,
so I can sleep well.
Honestly, I cry a lot lately.
Not because I am sad,
but because I am touched,
I am so loved unconditionally by Tobias ♥️.
I depend 100% on him.
I have to learn to be patient with myself and trust that I don’t burden Tobias.
Everyday I have to deal with the feeling as if my head is in a cloud,
Tobias brings me to the toilet whenever I need to go,
he lifts me and holds my neck and head carefully,
he moves my body according to how I want it,
he sits me up straight on the sofa,
he sits me up early in the morning so I can breathe,
he showers me in the morning,
he creams my body after showering,
he prepares breakfast, lunch, coffee, and dinner,
he knows I drink my tea with honey,
I communicate with Tobias mostly by typing on my phone or by pointing fingers.
I keep asking him for eye drops all the time,
I have severe head pressure,
I have severe double vision,
I deal with tingling pain 24/7,
I need help with everything.
I lost control over most of my bodily functions.
I lost control over all my muscles.
Tobias has cancelled all of his seminars and workshops from now on forward.
He is now just focusing on my needs.
Tobias hugs and kisses me a lot,
he shows affection to me a lot,
I can’t hold anymore my neck and going out by wheelchair causes my head to flip and flop.
This is very painful and I can’t feed the ducks 🦆anymore.
Tobias ordered a head stabiliser.
Lets hope it arrives soon.
But I can watch the birds on our balcony,
They make me extremely happy.
I love you, my Tobias ♥️.
Please remember Tobias in your prayers and thoughts.
Please remember Tobias as your beloved friend.
He needs strength more than ever now.
He needs encouragement more than ever now.
He needs your support more than ever now.
He needs you.
He is my everything ♥️.
Please go to “My Medical History” at http://titien.de/my-medical-history/ for more details.
Thanks for keeping us in your prayers 🙏
PS: Thank you for reading, commenting and sharing my posts.
Please visit my website http://titien.de/ for more stories. 🤗