Four weeks ago, two weeks ago, yesterday

Two weeks ago was Titien’s funeral, she died today four weeks ago. I just would like to post a short update here and thank you for your continued thoughts, prayers, words of support and donations to Titien’s charitable project. I also would like to apologise for not replying to every message and every comment, as Titien certainly would have done!

Some of you asked, how I am holding up. I am doing ok. I started going to the office again and it is a welcome change to being in my flat, where I basically stayed with Titien since March. I have started to work again and if I need a break, I will take one. I am currently about to start grief counselling, something I know I need.

Titien is all around me and remembering her often makes me smile (and cry at least once a day). I see her and I talk to her. I hope this is not considered pathological. Yesterday, I went to visit her grave under the tree and went for a walk around the area. It was a beautiful day. 

Praying at the funeral
Under our tree
Laying her to rest
Her grave yesterday
Our tree
The view from up there towards the south west
And towards the west, the whole valley
My little place to remember in our bedroom
The first ever picture of Titien and me together. October 2016

6 Replies to “Four weeks ago, two weeks ago, yesterday”

  1. Dear Tobias,

    Titien and you were such a wonderful couple. It makes me so sad, that she passed away. Life is so unfair. You two are so good people and I don`t know why life had to do that to you. When you speak to Titien, I am sure she can hear you and she smiles. There is just no consolation when a dear one dies….time doesn`t always heal all wounds, but we bare them better as time goes by. One day you will see her again. She will always be your wife. Stay strong!!!

  2. Thank you for the post Tobias! Any post from you is heartwarming! I’m very glad to hear how you’re doing. You cry all you want. It shows you’re human and full of love and compassion. Glad to hear you’re back at the office. Work and having caring colleagues sure are blessings. The photos are beautiful and Titien’s deep impressions in our hearts live on. The views are so peaceful and magnificent! Tobias, prayers and love to you across the miles.

  3. Hi Tobias
    Thank you so much for keeping Titien’s readers and friends up to date on how you are doing. Not a day has passed since Titien’s death that I’ve not thought of her and missed her. Although I’m a believer, I cannot help thinking that life has dealt you a bad hand. A gorgeous and loving couple like you should be raising a family now instead of having your future together and Titien’s life taken away by DIPG.
    I cannot imagine the enormity of your loss and am glad to hear that you’re doing grief counselling. You are in my thoughts and prayers every day. May God take take extra special care of you, especially when you grieve for Titien and cry because of your crushing bereavement.
    Heartfelt good wishes

  4. Thank you Tobias for continuing to share and continue Titan’s inspiring blog.
    I am the father of LIBI 6-year-old boy, who left us a year and a half ago due to DIPG. The pain is unbearable and will never end, but the memories of the family are our great consolation and for that, we are so grateful.
    Along the way, we were inspired by Titen’s blog and recently even launched a website in memory of LIBI called MODEH ANI, which is a Hebrew prayer that says every morning and its purpose is to be grateful for life itself, no more than that. For those who have not experienced difficulties like Titien, Libi and others, it is a bit difficult to be thankful for life itself as it seems obvious. But we know that even the simple life is not so obvious and we must thank God every day for the fact that we are alive.
    We also share Titien’s story on the web site. Thank you again.

  5. Hi Tobias, I have message Titien today just to say hi. Then I was checking if I missed any of her post then I saw this. I am sorry for knowing this just now. Thank you for taking care of her and loving her, she loves you so much. Will be praying for you and her soul. Big hug from BAngkok.

  6. Dear Tobias,
    My deepest condoleances to you. I am very sad about your loss… I met you during a leadership class you gave at the Max Delbrück Center in Berlin. On the evening, we could also meet your wife. I was very touched by you both as a couple and very impressed by her strength and her talking openly about the disease, and how she was keeping a blog. Since then, I always followed her from afar. I’ll always remember it. I can’t understand your pain but hope you are doing (kind of) ok.
    Warmest regards,

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