Good bye summer, hello autumn.
Titien: “Our chili bush looks cold, we should move it inside”.
Tobi: “Ok, then I’ll move it to the bedroom”
Titien: “No way, Jose! Move it to the living room”!
Tobi: “It needs to be relatively cold in winter and still nights light. Our bedroom has a big window with morning sunlight and we never heat it.”
Titien: “ok execute to bedroom then”.

Now I have a chili bush 🌶 and lemon tree 🍋 in my bedroom.


When I look at my chili plant, I remembered that Tobi planted the seeds in February this year (I admit I’m only harvesting and eating the chili).

Tobi is watering it, pruning it and making sure it gets enough sunlight, and in summer, voila our chili plants start flowering then produces a lot of chilies.

Tobi is very good in taking care of our plants. Yet without sunlight it wont grow and bear fruits.

I want to tell you about a strong lady I knew, who always says words sharp like a knife. She grew up in a difficult environment, she didn’t finish high-school (no choice), had to work hard since a young age, was not married, and now has to take care of her 90 year old mom while all of her big brothers are financially well but not helping her with the burden. She also chose to take care of 3 children left behind by her big sister who passed away. She was bullied at her workplace. What she sees is the hardship, the unfairness and that her brothers choose money over family relationship. She has no friends who love and are there for her. Her broken heart makes her speak in bitterness. So when the brothers were trying to improve the relationship, she showed a cold attitude and she broke their hearts with her words. It’s like a never ending cycle full of hurting and negative assumption. Unfortunately, she has no friends to talk to. She shared this only with me over the phone.

I feel sad, she wasted so many years of her life in bitterness and disappointment. If only she looked for someone there to lighten her up, if only then she could forgive and give a chance to her family to make things right, or if only she stoped demanding and not letting them affect her feelings. I can only be there listening to her and praying that one of them will come out with a big forgiving heart to melt the situation.

With whom and by whose side we are walking influences our life. 
We do have control over how much others influence us. 
We do have choices, to let others promote us in growing in life, or let others promote us doing stupid things that hurt us and pull us from life.

Be a good gardener of your character.
Look for healthy personal relationships and a friendly environment to grow.


6 months ago, a sprout was cracking out from the kitchen sink. Tobias pulled it and moved it carefully to a pot of chili plants on the balcony. We did not know what plant was that, but we’re guessing it’s from bird chili I used to buy from the Asia Shop. When it finally produce its fruits, we were proven wrong. It was a bell pepper plant.

Just as the identity of this plant was hidden as a seedling, our identity also only manifests later in life by our character and actions.

Some people are known by their healthy attitude, e.g love, kindness, faithfulness, patience. Some people display a bad attitude, e.g envy, addiction, negative influences, careless relationships, selfishness, destructive habits, anxious thoughts.

I’m blessed with positive friends who surround me. When I’m in a difficult situation , there are good news I hear from them. This determines my mindset.

So when you’re feeling fear, feeling under pressure, feeling devastated, and feeling depressed by someone or something, don’t keep feeding it but kill it by getting help. Either go and see a therapist or someone that could help you and be your light at the end of the tunnel.

Be practical. Be wise. Be alive. Be fruitful.


In this occasion I want to ask you to try this:
For 10 seconds simply look into your partner/sibling/colleague/stranger’s eyes and smile. Take note of their responses.

I’m sure you’re watching the happiness factor spread through the room.

We’ve all heard that laughing is contagious. Science and research learned that emotions are contagious, and not only that, character traits are also contagious, whether it’s positive or negative.

When I moved in with Tobias, we influenced each other. For him, I never make him feel guilty when he failed me (unintentionally). Vice versa, for me, he never gave me a bad conscious when I failed him. A lot of understanding and hugs in our relationship. We both mutually choose to keep our love lit 🔥

I believe most of us have choices and free will. Meanwhile, many in other parts of this world don’t.

A friend was heartbroken and afraid of being single. She has choices: to stand up and live her life to the fullest, or choose to continue drowning in depression.

While in Yemen a 9 year old girl sold by her parents to a 30 year old man to be his wife. She can’t run away, she has no choice, but to get abused everyday.

Choice, expression and free will should not be taken for granted. It brings consequences, it influences, and it could make a big difference.

May our choices and expressions bring light, and shine on those who surround us.

Life is fragile and complex, but it’s beautiful. Be excited to be alive and continue to offer something to this world, maybe your courage, your patience, your kindness, your uplifting conversation, your work, your unselfish thought, your humor, etc.

Whatever we do, let’s do it out of love and for a purpose, not for approval.

Miracles happen to you and through you.




71 Weeks Post Biopsy (1 Year 4 Months)
Brainstem Midline Pontine Glioblastoma(DIPG) Grade 4

I had chemo (CCNU 40mg) on Monday. My symptoms are stable.

In total since June 2017, I had 4 cycle of Temodal, 2 cycle of CCNU-Procarbazin, and 8 cycle of CCNU.

Next meeting with my oncologist will be in November, and we will discuss the possibility to have a break for awhile from chemo treatment, because I had more than 6 cycle of CCNU chemo already.

Please keeping me in your prayers 🙏 
Thanks a lot 😘


“Jesus spoke to the people once more and said, “I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life.”” John‬ ‭8:12‬ ‭NLT‬‬

“My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not treat the grace of God as meaningless. For if keeping the law could make us right with God, then there was no need for Christ to die.” Galatians‬ ‭2:20-21‬ ‭NLT‬‬

“But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!” Galatians‬ ‭5:22-23‬ ‭NLT‬‬

““You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭5:14-16‬ ‭NLT‬‬

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