For the first time in history,
presidential, parliament and regional elections in Indonesia
were taking place on the same day: on 17 April 2019. 

About 190 million Indonesian were eligible to vote. 
About 245,000 candidates were be running
for more than 20,000 national and local legislative seats 
across a country made up of around 18,000 islands. 
It’s a massive complex democratic undertaking.

I live in Germany, still I fulfilled my civic right and duty as Indonesian citizen, I voted. 

Now we’re waiting for the announcement of the winner,
President Jokowi or his opponent Prabowo. 
We’ll know the final results on 22 May 2019.


So much dramas happened during the presidential campaign season.
One of the highlights was an Indonesian actress and political activist,
Ratna Sarumpaet, who lied about being assaulted in a politically motivated attack.
The picture of her facial injuries instantly went viral.
Followed by Prabowo calling for a press conference,
accusing Jokowi’s team and supporters before investigating the alleged crime.
Soon afterwards, a famous cosmetic doctor noticed symmetrical wounds on her face,
and suspected they were from cosmetic surgery and not from getting beaten.
The actress couldn’t deny it anymore and admitted she lied. 
What a shame.

In the past,
I was easily passing unfair judgment, 
and I was being judged unfairly, too.
I still get judged that I have cancer
as a result of me having had an unforgiving heart,
or as a result of disobeying God, 
or as a karma, etc.

We tend to make automatic judgement, 
by overestimating the personality of others,
and by underestimating the situation of others, 
especially of people we do not know well. 

When our best friend shows cold emotions, 
we’d think maybe they have a bad day. 
But to people we don’t know, 
we think they’re rude.

It is easy to praise or to blame others for their actions, 
but unless we know their motivation 
we really know nothing at all.

A Chinese proverbs says:
人不可貌相 海水不可斗量 (rénbùkěmàoxiàng hǎishuǐbùkědǒuliáng)
you can’t judge a person by appearance, 
just as you can’t measure the sea with a pint glass.

Making personality / hypocritical /
self-righteous / unforgiving / 
untrue and unfair judgments,
tends to be quicker and more automatic, 
but these are less ideal judgments.

Moving forward, 
the Bible’s command us 
not to judge according to appearance, 
but to judge with righteous judgement, 
according to God’s words.
To show discernment. 
We should be able to tell right from wrong 
from beneath the surface,
by the deeds.

Do not make a snap judgement,
but instead do discern, 
do process mindfully,
in-line or contradicting His words,
and acting and speaking the truth in love.


Why did God not prevent the terror in Sri Lanka?
Why does God allow cancer in little children?
Why does God not heal us?
Does that mean God is heartless and unfair? 
Maybe stories in the Bible are just a myth?

Illness, suffering, and pain
are the result of us living in a cursed sinful world. 

Many of us believe that
the world should revolve around our comfort, needs, and rights. 
When God doesn’t come through to us as we think He should, 
we become very indignant and judgmental.

Often, we assume that God is a lot like us, 
that He thinks the way we do,
that He wants the things we want. 
Often, we judge God’s love and character 
according to our circumstances. 
If He gives us what we want, He’s great. 
If our circumstances are difficult, 
we judge Him as not being good.

“Why me? Why this?”
“Why would a good God allow these things to happen?”
Honestly, I have no answer.
I am insufficient and limited to understand 
the ultimate mystery of the working of Divine Providence.
So, rather than to judge God, 
I choose to trust Him. 
I submit my life to His will,
let my soul be at peace.
Trusting His mercy and grace 
will help me through the trials.

Indeed, suffering produces perseverance, 
perseverance produces character of faith, 
and character of faith produces hope.
And hope does not disappoint us,
because we can be confident,
God understands and cares, 
His grace is sufficient for us.
We have hope for the future,
hope beyond death,
hope of an eternal kingdom.

Walk by faith not by sight.
Trust in God’s goodness, 
rather than trust our own understanding.
Don’t discredit faith,
even when circumstances make it difficult,
and reason seems to falter.
Hold on to God’s word,
some way, some time, somehow,
He will work all things together for our good,
as He shaped us to the likeness of Christ. 


Everyday, the news report crimes, 
murders, terror, rape, and injustice. 
This world is crooked 
with inhumanity and cruelty. 
This evil prides make me outraged, 
and a question has been reverberating in my mind:
“Will not a Holy God punish them?”

As I read the Bible,
God assures me,
He as a righteous judge, 
He will administer justice perfectly. 
We’re accountable for our actions.
He will dispose of evil and injustice,
He will punish in eternity,
those who have turned away from Him and His standards. 

However, in His wisdom, 
He is not doing that yet. 
He is wrathful towards us in our sin,
but He is also merciful.
He gave Christ to die for us, 
save us and reconcile us to Him.
He allows us time for repentance, 
to accept Christ’s sacrifice,
so we could survive His justice.

Jesus Christ’ life, death and resurrection,
unites perfect justice with perfect love.

The day of the Lord is coming. 
let’s humble ourselves,
live to give honor and glory to God,
He is just and He is good, 
all the time.
We could trust Him.


“Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.””
‭‭John‬ ‭7:24‬ ‭ESV

“Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭7:3-5‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:28‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“But because of your stubbornness and your unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God’s wrath, when his righteous judgment will be revealed. God “will repay each person according to what they have done.” To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, he will give eternal life. But for those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭2:5-8‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life.”
‭‭John‬ ‭5:24‬ ‭ESV‬‬


1 Year 11 Months Post Biopsy
Midline Pontine Glioblastoma/DIPG Grade IV

Last Wednesday I received the 6th round of avastin. 
This week my right arm is getting more weak, my pronunciation is more mumbled.🥺

My health insurance company again rejected our appeal to their first rejection to cover the costs for avastin drug. So we’ll go legal and sue them. 😔

The doctors from Karlsruhe and Heidelberg pointed me towards avastin as the last resort, after other standard drugs failed me. First time the insurance rejected me stating that avastin is not the standard drug and it’s not proven to significantly prolong life. Still, it’s very inhumane to leave me with no treatment.😐

I will travel Vienna and Bratislava with Tobias in mid-May for a week 🥰 
I never been there, so looking forward to this trip.

Anyway, thanks a lot for your prayers and good wishes. My parents got 2 year visas from the German Embassy in Jakarta.👌😁
So they can come whenever they feel like or when it is necessary.

Spring has sprung in Germany.
Green trees and colorful flowers.🍀🌸🌺
Everyday at 7pm, a couple of blackbirds,🐧
are sitting on the tree in front of my balcony, 
shouting at the cat of our neighbors 
for an hour! ⏰
This has been going on for a week already.
Why they’re so obsessed with that cat 🐈?

Thanks for keeping me in your prayers 🙏

PS: Thank you for reading, liking, commenting and sharing my posts. 
Please subscribe to get updates on your email. 🤗

Who says sugar feed cancer? My scientist husband and my doctor said it’s not true. I’m allowed to enjoy sweets 🍭 🍫 🍦🍰🧁🍯🍩🍪
…and Coca Cola 🥤
…and snacks chips peanuts 🥜 🍿🍟🍕
We’re on the train to Munich
Visited good friends while in Munich
I’m bored eating bread or Müsli for breakfast. So I made noodle soup 🍜
Delicious breakfast 😄 I’m 1000000% Asian
Indonesian veggie sour soup from scratch. Tastes exotic with galangal and tamarind, and of course chili 🌶
My sweet niece – Princess Yuna in Seoul
Korean kids’ lunch at kindergarte (rice with fish soup and seaweed, etc). 
Kimchi (pickled cabbage) is a must 😂
Blackbirds obsessed with a cat


  1. Love the photos T. Who is your photographer? So true about not making judgements. Enjoy more ice cream!

    1. Hihi.. Tobias is my editor/photographer 😂. Thanks! I will let him know your compliment 😉
      Enjoy spring Joyce
      Hugs 🤗

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