Hello friends, I’m still here, unbelievable haha.
So, I’m very happy to share with you again the thoughts I had lately.🤗
Though it’s very hard for me to read,
and type on my iPhone, but with patience I can do it.
On Wednesday, 24 June,
it was my 39th birthday.
My birthday wishes came true,
In the morning, we had a Nussschnecke (nut pastry) from bakery Meier and enjoyed the Earl Grey tea.
It’s the same wish as I had 3 years ago.
My wishes just simply came true!
Do you know that I had lost my ability to swallow after biopsy,
but, then it recovered a week before my 36th birthday.
Did you know Bakery Meier had stopped selling Nussschnecke, but they just specially made it for my birthday?
I was Pharrell happy, beyond blessed, and left speechless. 😃🥰
I always follow the COVID-19 pandemic.
As per today, it has already affected 213 countries, more than 9.5 million people, and taken more than 520.000 lives.
It ripped my heart,
to hear every morning the news,
we fight together this pandemic,
but people still harm others,
terrorism is still happening,
riots are still happening,
extremism is still happening,
genocides are still happening,
racism is still happening,
and so on.
People are just selfish.
I don’t want to hear the morning news anymore.
It breaks my heart.
::: BEING LOVED
I spend most of my time sitting on the sofa,
As Tobias is working, I reflect about life.
I found out, it is about
I found out that God has created me beautifully perfect,
He restored my wholeness.
He gave me identity as His heiress and daughter.
He gave me hope,
He forgives me,
He overcame my unworthiness.
He gave me a promise of eternity.
He gave Himself for me.
He gave me a meaning to my life,
He gave me a purpose to fulfill,
to tell you that you’re loved.
He also brought Tobias to my life.
He made sure I will never feel alone.
He made sure I won’t face DIPG by myself,
Tobias loves me and gives his life for me.
BEING LOVED is the most beautiful thing,
the best thing that ever happened,
in my life.
::: LOVE GIVES
It doesn’t matter who you are,
or what you’ve done,
Maybe your time,
maybe your attention,
maybe your affection,
maybe your treasure,
maybe your patience,
maybe your understanding,
maybe your smile,
maybe your kindness,
maybe listening to others,
maybe sharing your bread,
and so on.
Love is only expressed through giving.
If there is no giving,
there is no evidence that love exists.
so many people around us,
are like dead-men walking.
that they’re valued,
that they’re loved.
to take delights in giving,
to feel what is joy.
They only see disappointments,
they only see distress and pain,
they only focus on what they lost,
they only focus on what they don’t have,
they only see that they’re losing hope,
they’re forget to be grateful,
they forget what matters in life,
they forget that they’re loved.
let’s remind them,
that there is peace,
that there is joy and hope,
that they are valued,
that they are loved.
Check this out:
“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.””
John 13:34-35 ESV
“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him.”
1 John 4:7-9 ESV
“”For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. ”
John 3:16 ESV
::: UPDATE ABOUT ME
3 Years 1 month Post Biopsy
Midline Pontine Glioblastoma/DIPG Grade IV
Now, I have palliative care.
No further treatment is available for me.
I have an oxygen bottle ready at home in case I need it.
I have no oncologist anymore.
But my resident doctor came on Monday and checked me out and today my palliative care doctor came to pay me a long visit.
I am getting worse rapidly, day by day.
Following the advice of my doctors, I decreased dexamethasone to 18 mg daily. 6 mg after breakfast (9 am), 6 mg after lunch (12 am), 6 mg after coffee (3 pm).
It doesn’t slow down my symptoms from worsening.
Everyday I have to deal with the feeling as if my head is in a cloud,
Tobias brings me to the toilet whenever I need,
he moves my body according to what I want,
he sits me up straight on the sofa,
he sits me up early in the morning so I can breathe,
he showers me in the morning,
he creams my body after showering,
he prepares breakfast, lunch, coffee, and dinner,
he knows I drink my tea with honey,
I communicate with Tobias mostly by typing on my phone or by pointing fingers.
I keep asking him for eye drops all the time,
I have severe head pressure,
I have severe double vision,
I deal with tingling pain 24/7,
I no longer can speak,
I need help with everything.
I lost all my functions.
Tobias hugs and kisses me a lot,
he shows affection to me a lot,
he knows that watching our birds,
feeding the ducks 🦆,
makes me extremely happy,
I love you, my Tobias ♥️.
Please go to “My Medical History” for more details.
Thanks for keeping us in your prayers 🙏
PS: Thank you for reading, commenting and sharing my posts.
Please subscribe to get updates by mail. 🤗