To help her get up I have to turn Titien in bed so that her legs dangle over the edge. Then I support her head with one hand while she clings to my other arm. Now, I can slowly pull her up into sitting position.

She can then get up on her own and slowly shuffle into the bathroom with her rolling walker. I go ahead and prepare her contact lenses. Once she arrives in the bathroom, I put them in carefully. I press toothpaste onto her electric toothbrush. She can still brush by herself. If she doesn’t want to wash her hair and just shower, I tie her hair with a hair band.

Supported by the rolling walker and with my help, she manages to sit on the shower lift. I lift her legs into the bathtub and remove the plaster with which her gastric tube is attached to the stomach. I adjust the temperature of the water, hand her the shower head and pull the shower curtain. She is still showering alone. She already needs help washing her hair.

I dry her off, lift her legs out of the tub and help her get up and find support on the walker again. I remove her hair band and comb her hair. I brush the hair off her face and fix the strand with a hair clip on the head. I spread three splashes of Guerlain Super Aqua Lotion on her face.

Titien then sneaks back into the bedroom and drops onto the bed. I lift her legs up on the mattress. I first cream her legs, her buttocks, and then her arms. She keeps her eyes closed.

I draw up about 50 ml of water with a syringe, connect the syringe to her gastric tube and rinse it. I disinfect my hands and spray her disinfectant on the belly where her gastric tube exits. The area has become inflamed since she has to take cortisone again in high doses. She grimaces in pain.

I clean the exit point with a compress, spray a little disinfectant on the area again and use three compresses and three strips of adhesive plaster as dressing material. Every day for past three years.

I pick a pair of underpants for her, stick in a panty liner and put on the panty. I bend her legs so that she can lift her hips more easily. I find wide jogging pants for her. First I have to thread the legs, then bend them up again so she can raise her hip and I can pull the pants up.

I support her neck again and pull her into the sitting position. She takes a deep, rattling breath, as if she had been underwater for a long time and finally came up to breathe. I help her put a t-shirt on. Titien leans on the walker, gets up and slowly makes her way into the living room.

I still have to take a shower, brush my teeth, put on clothes, make tea, prepare cereals, and an hour after getting up we sit at the breakfast table.


  1. Hi Tobias
    Reading about the deep love Titien and you are sharing is both heartbreaking and uplifting. You’re doing a wonderful job helping Titien with the everyday activities she can no longer perform herself and supporting her without complaint and so much tender loving care.
    Titien is a very special person whose fortitude in adversity is admirable and amazing. I’m a believer too, but my faith is very weak compared to hers. Each of her posts inspires and strengthens me. I am very grateful to her.
    I wish you both the strength to cope with whatever lies ahead. May Titien’s faith sustain and uphold you both.
    Prayers and many tearful and joyful thoughts for Titien and you.

    1. Hi Eli ♥️,
      Trap I’m so blessed with Tobias ❤️😊.
      Thank you 😘 hav a wonderful week 👍🤗

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