I am loved unconditionally.
I am loved physically.
I am loved emotionally.
I am loved spiritually.
I am beyond blessed.
I am the luckiest and the happiest girl in the world.
Thank you Tobias for loving me ♥️


Life is full of situations,
It’s interesting,
oftentimes we have faith,
oftentimes we know laws,
oftentimes we have hope,
but do we love God?

Without love,
there can be no true faith,
and loveless hope is an oxymoron.


I often say you’re loved.
I am convinced it’s the truth.
Often we do research or we reflect,
what is the most important thing in our life,
Often we forget the immensity of the truth,
that God loves us,
in the frailty and the struggle,
with which we live.

Love has no beginning,
love has no end.
In the past,
when situations appeared hopeless,
when things went from bad to worse in my life.
I blamed myself,
I felt condemned,
I thought it was because I didn’t have enough faith and hope.

Until 3 years ago,
in a hospital bed,
I truly understood,
it is not just about faith and hope,
what made me a Christ follower,
it is more than that,
it is love.
God is love.
I am loved and I love Him.

I understood then,
faith and hope alone cannot produce love,
but love alone can produce faith and hope in my heart.

you’re loved,
God is love,
He was willing to sacrifice his Son who died on the cross,
so you and me are reconciled with the Almighty,
and we can enter eternity.
So now faith, hope, and love abide,
but the greatest of these is love.

your Titien.

Check this out:

“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.”
‭‭1 John‬ ‭4:7-8‬ ‭ESV‬‬


3 Years 3 months Post Biopsy
Midline Pontine Glioblastoma/DIPG Grade IV

Now, Tobias takes care of me completely.
I 100% depend on Tobias, on everything.
I hope miracles happen,
I have asked God,
to allow me at the end of my life,
To have the strength to type and to swallow.

Sometimes I cry by myself,
I love Tobias so much.
For example,
I want to let him sleep more,
but I need water and to turn in bed,
I can’t do it by myself,
it’s a dilemma for me.
To wake him up or not.

So many things I want to express,
that I love him,
and I consider him,
but sometimes it’s against my needs,
I don’t know what I should do.
Sometimes I can only cry.

Tobias, I am sorry,
I love you so much, but,
I demand a lot of you,
honestly it pains me to see that I cause you pain.
But I need you to help me.
I hope you can bear with me a little longer.

I can’t hold my neck anymore.
I need a neck pillow.
I fall whenever I don’t sit up straight.
I lost all of my muscles and bodily functions.
I cannot control my balance anymore.

I am getting worse rapidly, day by day.
Dexamethasone doesn’t slow down my symptoms from worsening.

Following the advice of my doctors,
I keep decreasing dexamethasone every few days.
She wants me to go until 4 mg and 2 mg.
It’s too fast for me.
I am retaining so much water in my body.
I currently take 5 mg during breakfast (9 am), 5 mg during lunch (2 pm ).
Maybe after few days,
I will go down to 5-4.5 mg.
Let’s see how my body tells me.

Every morning,
Tobias gives me kisses,
I am so loved unconditionally by Tobias ♥️.
I depend 100% on him.
I have to learn to be patient with myself and trust that I don’t burden Tobias.

Tobias is in pain too.
He needs to lift me up and hold my neck and head,
whenever I need him.
Somehow we now know how to do it better.

I am almost 100 % crippled,
I am almost 100 % disabled,
I almost 100 % lost my muscles,
I almost 100 %. lost my bodily functions,
Yet, inside my head is still the same Titien.
I know ,
I can’t do anything about it.
Just so thankful for Tobias ♥️

Feeding ducks 🦆 makes me Pharrell happy 😃
It always came. Bestie with ducks 🦆
They knew their feeding time 😃⏱🦆
The greatest gift of all
loved unconditionally 😘♥️By Tobias
Cushing syndromes
It’s vegan but it keeps closed to me
Will it bites with it’s yellow teeth?
Ok, i was afraid it will bites
Duckst 🦆 feeding
Wednesday ducks 🦆 feeding
The Maiers ♥️
They’re waiting for us
This morning


  1. Thank you, Titien, for more sharing and wisdom and loving words. I feel sadness for your situation, I pray for miracles too. They happen everyday,…miracles appear all around, and inside us. We are changed; Jesus gently tugs on the heart and we let love in. Miracles multiply and they come in many forms.
    Not too long ago, a miracle~ one of wisdom, beauty, and humility~ appeared quietly and suddenly in my life, as they often do.~when I first read her blog. Thank you, Titien 🥰🌸🦆

    Hugs and prayers…for you and your Tobias

    1. Yes and amen Lisa ♥️
      I do believe in miracles 😊👍😘
      Thank you 😊
      And for remembering us in your prayers.
      Love you too 😊♥️👍

  2. May you and Tobias continue to feel the light of God’s love in every moment, good and bad. You are loved. What a blessing to have this awareness.

  3. Praying for you Titen as you move through this journey with such grace. Your faith is truly an shining example of God’s unconditional Love. So very thankful for the HOPE that we have in Jesus. Hugs from a far.

  4. Dearest Titien! As soon as I got notified of your new post I went to it right away. As always, i know it will update me on your life and uplift my day. And as always. It did! I Indeed LOVE! Undeniable love between you and Tobias. And between you and God. I love ❤️ your photos. You’re beautiful and whimsical even amidst all the pain and dependence. Grateful to God for the inspiration He gives you to write and the deep emotions you share and stir within us all. A big air hug and LOVE from your big fan and prayer warrior in LA!

  5. Dear Titien. I have read all of your posts and stand in awe of you and your unwavering courage. In awe of your deep trust in God and complete surrender to Him. I cannot imagine your pain and struggle but I do know that you embody bravery and grace despite it all. God bless you always, and Tobias for being such an incredible husband. I work for a pharma company in New Jersey USA that is in clinical phase of developing an immunotherapy for cancer. People like you are what drive me to give 100% into my work even on the most difficult days. Thank you for your words of wisdom in your posts, they mean so much to me.

    1. Hi Lizette
      Thanks for reading my stories 😊♥️
      Thanks for working with Pharma company, it makes difference when you keep shining , happy.
      Thanks 😊

  6. Titien, thank you for reminding me of Gods love for each and every one of us. I LOVE reading your posts!! Keeping you in my prayers always ❤️

  7. My sister, you are loved by people all around the world. You’re an amazing person and you’ve helped me steady my faith. Sending love to you and Tobias!

  8. Darling Titien.

    Remember that Tobias loves you without conditions, just as you love him ❤

    You will always be Titien, just as you are now and always have been. And now you are a shining light, and the finest example of absolute bravery, wit, courage, humility and wisdom that most of us will ever have the grace and honour to know.

    Even though we never physically meet.

    There are so many of us who think of you both everyday. And all we want to do is love you 🌶🦆. I think that all Tobias wants to do is love you too ❤

    Be kind to yourselves 💛

  9. Your mind, brain, and faith are still good.. so you are lucky in that sense! God bless and thanks so much for the inspiration!

  10. Dear Titien
    Thank you so much for continuing to share your thoughts and feelings about God’s love. Each of your posts is so uplifting. Your faith and courage are beyond amazing. May God grant your prayer and maintain your ability to swallow and type until the end.
    I’m happy to see that the ducks are reveiving unconditional love, too. Even this suspicious looking rodent – an otter? – looks fit and well.
    I’m praying for you and Tobias.

    1. Thanks for your heartwarming message Elisabeth ♥️😊🥰
      Yes and amen to your thoughts and prayers
      Haha 😆 yes ducks 🦆 and nutrias are well fed and healthy and happy now 😄

  11. Love is the greatest of all…. so true.Thank you for sharing your stories with us. You are such a gifted writer and God is speaking through you. I admire your strength and faithfulness so much and look forward to reading your posts. keeping you and Tobias in my prayers ! Hugs to you both xo

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

%d bloggers like this: