GETTING TO KNOW THE MAIERS

A little conversation at the Maiers, before sleeping but already in bed.
Me: You’re so hot!
(Tobi blushing from my compliment)
Tobi: No, I’m not… you must be so in love with me.

Me: I mean it. You’re hot! 😈👻
(and placing my freezing-cold hands and feet on his body to get warm)
Tobi: Aargh ouch 😱🥶😭
(Pain-laugh from cold-shock)
Me: 🐾🐾🐾

::: 2 WEEKS PRIOR GETTING ENGAGED

Me and Tobias were together for only 2 months when he proposed to me.
Tobi: Will you marry me? 

What made me so sure that Tobias is the kind of man I want to marry?

One evening, 2 weeks before he proposed.
My thoughts were unrestful.
I like Tobias,
I didnt’t want to harm him,
I didn’t want to hide anything from him.
So, then I exposed  
my past and my weaknesses, 
my failures and my shame,
my fears.
I chose to show my vulnerability,
simply be an open book for him to see.

I was prepared for the possible worst response.
I had my flight ticket back to Jakarta.

To my surprise,
all my imperfections didn’t scare him off.
He accepted me wholeheartedly,
he hugged and cried with me,
secured me that it’s gonna be ok,
said that he wants to take care of me.

At that moment,
for the first time in my life,
I felt save, I felt loved, I felt protected.
I trusted him.

So, 2 weeks later, 
One evening he asked me to spend the next 50 years with him.
I said yes. 💍

::: 2 WEEKS PRIOR TO GETTING MARRIED 

One evening in mid-March 2017. We received the devastating news from a professor of Vincentius Klinik, that the MRI showed a lesion in my brainstem. We sat outside the Prof’s room, silent in shock.
Me: Tobi, I have tumor in my brainstem… I am sick and maybe dying.. Let’s cancel our marriage plan… I don’t want to put you on this journey.
Tobi: No, I want to marry you. We need to get married soon!

The following days we were scheduling further check-ups to Tübingen Klinikum, and requested at the Standesamt (The Marriage Registration Office) the earliest date to marry us.
—Take a deep breath, when it comes to bureaucracy in Germany, it can take weeks to months to get an appointment.—

On the day I had a PET-Scan at Tübingen Klinikum, we received a call from Standesamt that the available ‘earliest’ slot to get married is tomorrow afternoon. We agreed! It was late afternoon, we didn’t have time to buy a new suit and dress. 

2 years ago today,
on 5 April 2017, at noon.
Tobias was in an office meeting, suddenly he spoke up and left all his colleagues surprised.
Tobi: Sorry, I have to leave now. I am getting married. 

Meanwhile I was at home,
getting ready and pretty,
wearing a white cocktail dress,
which I bought in Bali in 2013,
and never wore it.
I had no time for a visit to the hair saloon,
I clipped my hair with €1 clippers from a drug store.

This afternoon, 
we got legally married. 👰🤵 
Witnessed Uli, a friend who took some photos with her iPhone.

Back home,
we received a call from Tübingen Klinikum,
The PET-Scan showed an aggressive high-grade pontine glioblastoma/DIPG. It’s inoperable and incurable. They suggested immediate radiotherapy and chemo treatment.

From now on, we were facing DIPG
together as husband and wife.

::: 2 YEARS MARRIED 

Since living with Tobias, 
I never missed one day without smiling and laughter.
I’ve never been as happy as I am now.

We never fight. 
A few little arguments that last minutes,
never highlight who’s right and wrong,
we both end it 
with asking for forgiveness, 
and we forgive each other.

It’s hard to argue with a Maier.
When Tobias is upset with me,
he’ll explain his logic in calm tone.
When I upset with him,
I can’t help but feel annoyed and I start laughing.
So, we ended up laughing together.

We have our own language,
our weirdosity and jokes,
our routine that only us understand.

Likewise, for Tobias, too
He has never truly been happy before 
he met me.

::: LIGHTS IN OUR LOVE JOURNEY 

There’s unique honor between us,
to our dignities, strengths and weaknesses.

Tobias is always 
kind and gentle,
active and protective,
nourishes and cherishes,
and provides for my needs.
It’s not 50-50,
it’s not superior or inferior competencies,
it’s him prioritizing me,
it’s him initiating love to me,
it’s him leading this household in happiness.

Me, too 
I gladly come alongside with him,
I gladly receive his provision and protection,
I gladly bless him 
through respecting, listening, 
loving and marveling him.

Me and Tobias knew 
there were, are, will be 
detours, road bumps, rough rocky roads
ahead of us.
But we’re still holding on,
together in this wonderful marriage,
because our love is 
a commitment, 
a promise,
and a beautiful gift from the Almighty.

“Our love is like a diamond. It is precious, strong, shines, solid, beautiful, durable, and spectacular” ~ Tobias Maier

Thank you for keeping us in your prayer 🙏

Our short wedding video 😝

Love,
Titien 

“In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over”
1 Peter 3:1 NLT

“In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.”
1 Peter 3:7 NLT