It’s a quiet Sunday afternoon, as usual in Karlsruhe, Germany. Me and Tobias took a short walk.
Me: Do you feel blessed or cursed?
Surprised with my question, Tobias shifted a faintly amused gaze to me.

Me: Your mom passed away from cancer 2 years after being diagnosed. Then, after you’ve met me, the love of your life, immediately I was diagnosed with late-stage cancer and with prognosis of 2 years max. People may say that this seems like a curse. How do you feel?
Tobias: I feel blessed. I never experienced this happiness and love in my life before. I am the happiest man alive.
Tobias: With you, I learned that life is about the here and now. I understood about the purpose of my life. I feel blessed.


Are we among the “blessed” ones?

When we immerse in the Bible, and God likes us, we became buddies and He blesses us, or;
When others think we’re important, or;
When we’re on the up-level status, being kind and serve others who have lower status than us.

Seems like “blessed” is ideally about
the honor in social hierarchy,
how we win in everything we do,
and our status in our culture.

Being ‘blessed’,
has turned into ideals,
into a status,
we must strive to attain,
from our moral initiatives.

How ironic! 


Society might seem great, 
with democracy, or
whatever philosophy of politics, 
and a great infrastructure. 

At the same time, 
it’s the most cutthroat society. 
No welfare. 
There are slums and poor people, 
living hand to mouth.

self-reliance and self-exaltation,
the one virus that causes all the moral diseases of the world. 
Like a mist shadowing the clear breezes,
the eyes fail to see,
the offered joy, peace and goodness.

The losers, 
the beaten down,
the unimportant, 
the insignificant,
those who nobody cares about,
those who have nothing to lose,
got the honor, 
to be the first among those called,
into God’s kingdom.


Tempted to understand more, I looked into the Book of Matthew, the story of Jesus’s sermon on the mount, the beatitudes.
It’s the most condensed concise collection of Jesus’s teaching about the good news of the Kingdom of God.

I read that He proclaims blessings to 9 types of people: 
the poor in spirit, 
who mourn, 
who meek, 
who hunger and thirst for righteousness, 
the merciful,
the pure in heart, 
the peacemakers,
who persecuted for righteousness sake,
who are persecuted and falsely treated on God’s account. 

Then, I understand…
Jesus is the epitome of these blessings.

We’re called blessed,
we are the fortunate ones,
because we see,
the tragedy of the world,
we grieve,
viscerally longing,
for right relationships between people,
for faithfulness,
in family and community,
in neighborhoods and cities.
There’s a promise, 
beyond all human hope,
the Kingdom of God has come.

We’re called blessed,
we are the fortunate ones,
because we are compassionate,
to care and help others.
Neighbor’s love begins radiating,
out of the Kingdom of Heaven.

We’re called blessed, 
we are the fortunate ones,
because we are in peace 
with the Almighty,
doing the right thing,
in an epically failing world.
Our reward is great,
in the eternal Kingdom.

We’re called blessed, 
we are the fortunate ones,
because we’re loved.
On the cross,
Jesus redeemed the curse,
resurrected and glorified.
So we never die,
but live an abundant life,
full of joy and fellowship with 
the Author of Life,
in the Kingdom of Blessings.


A few weeks ago I posted on my Facebook, asked if anyone knew an NGO in Indonesia, my home country, that helped to directly target communities with low bureaucracy. To my surprise, I got only 4 likes (among them only 2 Indonesian) and received 2 comments. While others who posted pictures with new luxury bags, got hundreds. We found a good cause and donated.

A few months ago, I learned via Facebook that a friend of my friend was very ill from cancer. He was so poor that he couldn’t afford a wheelchair and a disabled toilet seat in his tiny shed he was living in with his mom. I understood those needs. I have been there. I helped. 

We play a role to share the blessings.

God has done so much in my life.
In my suffering, He met me.
He healed and transformed me. 
He brings joy.
I can’t let this love stay contained within my life, it meant to be shared and spread. 
Because we’re part of the family.

This world is poisoned,
with vain things,
unsettling minds,
apathy and laziness,
deceit and villainy.
It causes straight paths to become crooked.

I am humbled,
to have the opportunity,
to be generous in others’ lives,
in resources and energy,
in time and money,
in speech and action,
in prayer,
to bring profits to others.

Unlocking the generous heart.
What I received I’ll give with joy. 
Vibrant and robust,
inspiring and influencing,
Jesus generously gave His life,
so I become a gracious follower.

To give fully my life.
To be a cheerful giver.
To keep the desire,
in humility and generosity.
‘Cos I am blessed!


“Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”” John 8:12ESV

“And behold, a lawyer stood up to put him to the test, saying, “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” He said to him, “What is written in the Law? How do you read it?” And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” And he said to him, “You have answered correctly; do this, and you will live.”” Luke 10:25-28ESV

“In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ “” Acts 20:35ESV

“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’” Matthew 25:34-40ESV



(1 Year 9 Months Post Biopsy – Midline Pontine Glioblastoma/DIPG Grade IV)

It’s not easy. I thought re-irradiation will ease my symptoms. But unfortunately, my right arm is feeling so weak, even to hold a spoon to stir my tea. My speech is still mumbled. I am a right-hander and talkative person, so I feel annoyed with this.

I feel weaker in walking. The tingling pain is affecting my legs. I’m not sure if it’s from the dexamethasone or the tumor.

In addition, I have fits of laughter. Whenever I feel happy or think something bazinga-funny, I express it out loud with laughter. I can’t hold my laugh. I feel embarrassed, but Tobias found it’s adorable.

Emotionally, I am feeling good.😊

After my visit to the doctor in Heidelberg and Karlsruhe, we decided to start with Avastin Chemo next week. The next MRI will be arranged in mid-March.

Appreciate your continued prayer support 🙏 

PS: Please feel free to share my posts. Don’t forget to subscribe to get new story on your email. Thanks 🤗 

I always call this Schnupf-nudeln, but it’s schupfnudeln. Tobias finds it funny 🤔
Reason why I tie up my bangs
This 🦁
Beautiful isn’t it? Painting we got in Bali 2017 for our wedding
Conference call with my girls. I have 2 hamsters 🐹: Ashlee and my neighbor Kevin. They should meet 😂
My beautiful niece
Hidden garden behind my flat.
View from my bedroom. Tobias often workout at night on his bike on the balcony
This morning 🤗


  1. Sorry for the tough challenge of your life. You have such beautiful mind and heart full of appreciation & love. Pray for your life and the smooth of coming treatment. Healing hand of Mighty God has favor on you.

  2. I spent all day reading your blog articles. I loved all of them, and I think you are a beautiful person with a beautiful relationship. You are an idol. I especially loved your food pics and how happy food makes you 🙂 Sending lots of love.

    1. Thanks Julia for reading my stories and leave a heart warming comment 🤗 Sending love and hugs 💕 Titien

  3. Dear Titien,
    you are a light in this world! A few days ago I found you husbands blog and now I started reading on yours. Thank you both for sharing your experience and inside. I am sure it blesses and will bless many more people.
    I also live in Süddeutschland and I am very encouraged by your faith. May the joy in the Lord strengthen you!

    1. Amen! Dankeschön Elke for your encouragement words! Yes, we are the light 💡 ‘cos He shines on us 😊 Liebe Grüße 💗 Titien

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

%d bloggers like this: