WHAT I LOVE ABOUT MY HUSBAND

Our love story is perfect.

We first met in summer 2015 in Stuttgart. Tobias was waiting at the park next to my German language school. While, I was eyeing the classroom clock, impatiently waiting for the class to end. The first time I met him, I saw a tall handsome man with greenish eyes in a light green T-shirt. My eyes got real big and I felt butterflies in my stomach. We grabbed lunch, kebabs 🥙, and we sat under a tree and talked for hours, then he went back home to another city 1 hour away from Stuttgart.

We met 4x for lunch, but our relationship didn’t develop further, I told him “this ‘us’ won’t happen, because I’ll go back to Jakarta next week”.

The following year, in summer 2016, I went back to Germany. In Oktober, I remembered him and wanted to see him again before going back for good to Jakarta as I had planned. He invited me to Wasen Oktoberfest. He picked me up at the train station, looking beautiful in his jacket. That night we kissed.

Things went so fast. 2 months later he proposed, and I said yes.

::: WHAT I LOVE ABOUT TOBIAS

What I love about Tobias,
he makes me feel comfortable about even embarrassing things.
Living with DIPG, my appearance changes due to the tumor and the treatment. I walk limping, I talk mumbling with nasal voice, I rapidly gain weight, i have crossed eyes, and I laugh uncontrollably. But he shows affection every time and everywhere, even in public.

He really likes to listen to podcasts, sometimes he listens too much for too long. He sleeps with earplugs listening to podcasts.

He is incredibly organized with files, hard copy and soft copy. I rely on him to keep things in order.
Sortieren (sorting) may be one of his favorite pastimes.

He’s extremely on time, often arrives 5-10 minutes early. He hates being late. For him punctuality is a serious business.

He’s very self sufficient. He can cook himself dinner, clean the house, do the laundry and iron his shirts. It’s not easy for him to make up our bed, but he tries for me.

He is incredibly athletic.
He does sports almost everyday.
Cycling for 100 km, or swimming for 2 km, or running for 8 km.

Every early morning, he’s always brewing a pot of tea for our morning tea routine.

He’s very honest with himself and everyone.

Scientific facts and science communication are his favorite things, and he dislikes views that disregard science.

Tobias is confident but not arrogant.
Sometimes he receives negative feedback on his blog but he remains undaunted.

He makes me proud. He never tries to conform, he’s always himself. He’s a leader, and a great teacher.

He’s energy conscious, unlike me, who often forgets to turn off the light.

He’s very competitive when playing board games like Carcassonne.

He loves being outside in nature. Big crowds make him nervous.

Tobias eats like he’s trying to get over with, as if he’s inhaling the food.

He is a neat eater. He eats burgers with fork and knife. He doesn’t like buffalo chicken wings, unlike me, who don’t mind eating sloppy food and getting my hands messy.

He never went to American fast food chains (Subway, KFC, Pizza Hut, Dunkin’ Donuts, and Starbucks) until he met me.

He memorizes song lyrics after listening to the song a couple of times, his secret talent.

In the evening, he loves watching Netflix with me. He gets scared easily in movies and squeezes my hands, or my legs.

He is always in tune with my family although they’re culturally different. My family loves him.

I never met his parents, they already passed away. He told me that his parents never fought in front of their children, so he’s not good at arguing. Everyday, we burst out laughing and we never argue.

He’s very close to his brothers. They are always in touch.

He is handsome.
He is tender, kind, loving, thoughtful, happy and a genuine man.
So easy to love.

He loves being my husband.
He quietly endures all the things you are supposed to hate, like me placing my freezing cold feet and hands on his hot body before sleep.

He’s brave.
He takes all of my feelings steadily.
He knows when to cry with me, and when to not give in to them but to just hug me.

He cleans my PEG every day.
He edits my writings.

He is funny.
He gets my jokes, which is hard for Germans.

He makes things easy for me.
He knows what I’m dealing with.
He helps me take my boots off.

He always kisses me whenever he’s with me.
And he can’t keep his hands off me.
I’m like a magnet for him.

I didn’t get the chance to give him a child.
He would be an awesome dad.
He’s great with little kids.

Our priorities are each other.
He has a reduced work schedule and takes Fridays off to spend longer weekends with me.
He always takes me with him on his business trips.

I know he loves me from the way he looks at me.

He always reminds me that who I am is perfectly good enough. My soul is blooming by simply being with him.

I’m his honig 🍯
He’s loving me more than I can put into words.
I wish we could grow old together.
We love each other with our whole being.
……………………

In March 2017, I was diagnosed with late stage incurable brain cancer, DIPG. I told him maybe we should cancel our marriage, but he insisted that we speed up the process to get married.

April 2017, we got happily married in the local registry office.

Our love is not blind.
Our love is real.
Tobias is a blessing from above.
He is my anchor, my safety.
And I love him tremendously.

Love,
Titien

“Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”
‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13:7‬ ‭NLT‬‬

::: UPDATE ABOUT ME
2 Years 9 Months Post Biopsy
Midline Pontine Glioblastoma/DIPG Grade IV

On Monday, February 24th, I did MRI.

I’ll meet the doctor to discuss the result on Thursday, March 5th.

Last MRI in January showed that the tumor in my brainstem was stable. Unfortunately they saw something on my cerebellum. It wasn’t clear if it’s a pseudo progression or a real tumor. So, this MRI results will give us the answer.

There’s no new symptoms, but all symptoms are getting intenser: head pressure, weaker arms, difficulty in pronouncing words, difficulty with walking, nasal voice, balance issue, fits of laughter.

Please go to “My Medical History” for more details.

Thanks for keeping me in your prayers 🙏

PS: Thank you for reading, commenting and sharing my posts.
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The spot I first time met Tobias, August 2015.
I was attracted immediately, but I thought there’s no future for us.
In July 2016. I sent him this picture and told him that I am currently in Paris and will be in Germany soon.
He replied that he wanted to see me. But that time, things were complicated, so I stopped contacting him.
In Oktober 2016, I contacted him again and wanted to see him before I go back for good to Jakarta. He invited me to Oktoberfest. And that evening, it changed my life.
A week later, we’re together.
The next day he introduced me to his colleagues.
Picture: Tobias in his office, Oktober 2016
I opened up myself to him. Told him my past, my wrongs, my weaknesses. I was surprised that he accepted me for who I was and who I am.
November 2016
I said yes.
December 2016
Christmas 2016🎄
January 2017.
I started feeling something is not right with me. Vision problem
February 2017.
Tobias came to Indonesia to ask blessings from my parents to marry their daughter
He can finish that nasi goreng in 5 minutes 😆
Tobias chillin 😎
March 2017 at Frankfurt Airport
We’re back in Germany from Indonesia with 5 suitcases full of my stuffs
March 2017.
Professor of the eye hospital told us that there’s a lesion in my brainstem.
Tobias didn’t let me go.
April 2017
We tied the knot
One day before biopsy
May 2017
I was diagnosed with late stage incurable brain tumor DIPG
Midline pontine glioblastoma grade IV WHO
May 2017
June 2017
We’re so happy, I was able to swallow again
I stayed in the hospital for 2 months (biopsy-radiation).
On weekend, Tobias took me home
June 2017
July 2017
September 2017
I developed cushing syndrome as a side effect of long term steroid
He showed affection still
November 2017, Barcelona
First trip ✈️ after biopsy
Christmas 2017, Denmark
I felt much better physically
March 2018, we went to a music concert
April 2018, wedding anniversary in Rome
June 2018.
We both love summer
July 2018.
We love Picknick 🧺
He’s very athletic
August 2018
We’re in Hongkong
And met my family
August 2018, Beijing
The Maiers conquered the Great Wall
My friends love him
September 2018. Tobias stole a Kohlrabi from a field 😬
Oktober 2018.
science communication awards for scientists
December 2018, before Christmas.
Doctor told us that the tumor is progressing and there’s no other standard chemo drug available anymore, all failed me.
Christmas 2018. His brothers visited us
March 2019
My parents visited us after my re-irradiation
Tobias was a good host
April 2019. The 2nd wedding anniversary in Vienna
June 2019
September 2019. Tobias was showing off his new bike 🚲
When the Tour de France season come, he could watch it everyday
September 2019
Sometimes we visit the Ruheforst, his parents ashes were burried under this tree
Oktober 2019
Handsome, honest, kind, loving, thoughtful, patience, happy man.
So easy to love
Everybody likes him
December 2019, Seoul.
February 2020, today.
I’m feeling my symptoms are getting worse,
my condition is deteriorating so fast
But I know Tobias will always by my side.
I have the best husband in the world.

16 Replies to “WHAT I LOVE ABOUT MY HUSBAND”

  1. Perfect love story of you and Tobias …. your faith, love and strength inspires a lot ! Sending our prayers to you …hugs

  2. You are so beautiful and real, Titien. A great match for Tobias!
    Sending hugs and prayers from New York.

    1. Wow, NYC, so far away 😁. Yes, and he’s a great match for me too 😄. Thanks Maria, and wish you a great week 😘

  3. What a beautiful tribute to your wonderful husband. I had the pleasure of working in the same lab as him in Munich. Please say hi for me. I am praying for you.

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