To listen is to create understanding.
One late evening after my birthday party last June, someone texted me this:
“Dear Titien, it was a nice bbq! As a friend I can tell you please be thankful to Tobias that he does soo much for you”, the friend wrote.
“Of course I am”, I replied
“Show him!”, she replied.
I was confused by her comment, thinking how she could judge from one single event of how I treat my husband.
Her words hurt me, because I shared a lot with her about how much i am in love with my husband. I was hurt because I feel all these time, as a friend, she never genuinely listened to what I shared.
“Don’t listen to what she says, what we have here is the reality”, said my husband that night. I forgive her.
::: Guard my HEART
Some voices affect me a lot and some don’t, some make me happy or angry, some comfort me or hurt me.
In my past, I experienced an emotional abusive relationship, where I received hurting and toxic words. This resulted to my life bearing the fruit of it: unhappiness, bitterness and depression.
When I listen to offensive words and fill my heart with them, I speak bitter words too. When I listen to gossips, I gossips and become assume, too. Unconsciously my life is rotting.
When I listen to encouraging and nurturing words, they fill my heart with hope and kindness, then I speak out love too and my life is blooming.
My heart is like a garden. These past 1.5 years, I learned to love my heart. I can’t control the heat, the wind, the season. But I can control how I plant the seed, how to take care of the garden, and how to avoid things that could harm it. Simply nurture it.
::: DISCERNIBLE Listening
Earlier this month, a leading German newspaper posted two articles written by two journalists regarding pro and kontra of refugees moving to Germany. This lead to debates on social media, judging the journalist who wrote the kontra article. Many reader who are from left wing decided to unsubscribe the newspaper.
During the World Cup 2018, a video became viral in social media with a title “Croatian national team worshipping before the game”. Many Christian believer then supporting the team and reposting it. But the truth is the team in the video was singing in Portuguese and they are a local football team from Brazil.
Recent governors election campaigns across Indonesia, some of them using false accusations toward each other and using religion and race to gain voters.
So many cases where I could see that we are terrible listeners who tend to hear to what we want to hear, and quickly reject the truth.
So many cases where I could see that we digest everything we hear and agree with what we hear without being discern.
::: GENUINE Listening
I googled the meaning of hearing and listening, here is what I found:
—‘Hearing’ is an event (by chance); it is something which happens to us as a natural process.
—‘Listening’ is an action (paying attention, constructing meaning from, and responding to spoken or nonverbal message); it is something we do consciously.
There’s a whole range of filters to listen: culture, language, values, beliefs, attitudes, expectations, and intentions.
So to listen is not simple and it is a skill.
I found out that I need to humble my heart to silence myself (whatever voice in my mind), and to pay attention, to be conscious, to summarize, to ask.
Listening and responding is 2 sides of the same coin.
When I was in the hospital for 6 weeks last year. Nurses became my friends.
When the nurses do the daily routine of checking my blood pressure, my temperature, change my peg-band, delivering food, etc. I took chance to get to know them. Since I speak German very poorly, I prefer to listen to them.
I asked how’re they doing and slowly they opened up towards me about their life’s ups and downs. I genuinely listen to their stories. I understand and I care about them.
To listen is to create understanding.
I can’t love a person without understand that person.
Time is precious, therefore listen to those who are matters to us.
::: I listen to YOU
Thanks @JoEnoughoftherareBishop for posting your stories on Facebook. Even though I never meet you, DIPG Warriors, but I listen to you, and I could understand you. How I wish that Dipg had never happen to you and to me. I can’t offer help and comfort, but please know that you’re in my heart and I’m praying for you for love, peace, strength, comfort, joy and healing. I pray for your heart desire and prayer will be answered.
Even when there’s nobody listening us, know that God hears us.
“For a time is coming when people will no longer listen to sound and wholesome teaching. They will follow their own desires and will look for teachers who will tell them whatever their itching ears want to hear. They will reject the truth and chase after myths.”
2 Timothy 4:3-4 NLT
““Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep but are really vicious wolves. You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act. Can you pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles?”
Matthew 7:15-16 NLT
“Yes, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions.”
Matthew 7:20 NLT
““Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength.”
Deuteronomy 6:4-5 NLT
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
Proverbs 4:23 NIV
“And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us.”
1 John 5:14 ESV
1 Year 10 Weeks Post Biopsy
WHAT HAPPENED IN THE PAST 2 MONTHS?
Brainstem Midline Pontine Glioblastoma(DIPG) Grade 4
Sorry for not updating you earlier.
In the past 2 months, I attended daily german classes. Then my aunt and cousin came to visit for a month. It was quite intense for me, class in the morning and then exploring the city with my relatives until evening, I walked a lot, but I enjoyed it.
My 37th birthday in June was wonderful. I got a white board as a present from my husband, which I used it to play Pictionary at my BBQ birthday party.
My symptoms so far so stable.
I feel so excited for our trip to China for 3 weeks in August. My long trip after biopsy, and also first time China trip for Tobias. It was my long term goal earlier this year, now I have to set a new one.
I was scheduled to have chemo during my trip. I will need to check my blood values in China.
I definitely will share with you later about my trip.
My next MRT will be in September. Hoping that all is good.
Above all, God is good 😊