DO WE NEED TO EARN LOVE? – PART 1

A friend who has been single for quite some time, texted me this:
She: I feel my life here is boring and lonely, even though I am surrounded with family. I am going to a wedding dinner tonight, it makes me feel alone and ’left behind’.

::: SINGLE IS NOT THE SECOND-CLASS

The culture we live in,
bought us into the vision:
Marriage is the best way to be fulfilled as a human being,
to have a meaningful life.
This led single people to feel isolated, inconvenient and alone.
Single people feel like second-class.
Gay people feel more ostracized, difficult to find a place to fit.

Relationship is not a guarantee of happiness or fulfilment.
It’s not a bliss,
if we’re not already happy with who we are and our life.

Wielded properly,
single life is leading an exemplary life, 
off the map of our culture.
Single life has time,
resources and freedom,
undistracted,
to dedicate to serving others
to loving others,
to live a meaningful life.
It’s not ludicrous and second class.

Being truly joyful,
regardless if you’re single or taken,
should always be the priority.

::: BEING SINGLE BUT NOT LONELY

Another friend of me sent me a message, my heart broke for them and at the same time I was glad that they don’t deny their feeling, loneliness.
She: I am in despair. I am single, and I am not advancing in my career. I was talking about you with my friend who is in an abusive relationship, and we both agreed if we could choose at all, we prefer your suffering living with terminal cancer but deeply loved by a husband.
….

Many people who are in the season of singleness are sick with envy, and feel discontent, lonely, shame and failed.

In the past,
in my own season of singleness, 
I longed to be loved unconditionally,
for someone to treasure me just as I was.
I assumed that life as a single just wasn’t viable. 
I needed intimacy.

Because I was lonely,
I let unqualified men fill the position.
I went to wrong relationships,
I ended up nasty and hurting,
I wrestled with feelings of rejection.

I learned,
the root of the relationship problem,
is a singleness problem.
It’s more important to feel secure being single than to be married.
This is the foundation, otherwise the building will collapse.

In your season of singleness,
you might not experience the unique depth of intimacy in marriage,
but you can enjoy a unique breadth of intimacy with a number of close friends.
You having greater opportunitires than married people investing in closed friendships.

Sex and intimacy are not the same.
It’s possible to enjoy a huge amount of intimacy in life, through friendships.
Friends who know you at your sparkling best and utter worst,
to be deeply known and loved.

So,
don’t lose heart,
you may not have the security and constancy of married life,
but when it comes to intimacy,
you’re not lonely.

Explore your independence,
and be comfortable with who you are, 
without a man or woman in your life..

::: BEING SINGLE IS BETTER THAN BEING TRAPPED

If the purpose is not known, 
abuse is inevitable. 
If we cannot figure out how to love ourselves in our singleness, 
how can we  figure out to love others?

In the past,
I tolerated relationships that were taking away my value,
stealing my pieces, 
ravaging my joy, 
keeping me stuck in my chains. 
I can’t affect, instead I got infected.
I became damaged and dull.
I ignored my identity,
I allowed men to control what my life was supposed to be. 
I allowed the relationship set the standards I live by.
I created a hot mess.

I stayed longer than I should have.
Figuring piece by piece,
I looked for the right time to leave,
but it was never the right time.

So, my advice,
if this happens to you,
you have a vague and blurry image of your future,
stuck in a relationship that has no aim,
but only damaging and enslaving you.
End it intentionally not temporarily!
Today is the best time.
Stop accepting less than you deserve.
Let go and trust God.

Don’t easily let people walk in and walk out your heart.
Our heart is not to please people,
but to please God.

(To be continued to PART 2/FINAL).

Happy Valentine’s Day 💝
Love, 
Titien 

“Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.” Ephesians 5:1-2 NLT

“So the person who marries his fiancée does well, and the person who doesn’t marry does even better.” 1 Corinthians 7:38 NLT

***************************************************************************

::: UPDATE ABOUT ME 

1 Year 9 Months Post Biopsy
Midline Pontine Glioblastoma/DIPG Grade IV

Yesterday I started my first avastin chemo. I will have it again in 2 weeks.

Meanwhile, I am still taking dexamethasone 2mg/day.

I still have weakness on my right side.
Intenser tingling pain on my left arm.
Double vision.
Difficulty walking.
Speech mumbling.

Emotionally, ups and downs. But overall, still Pharrell Happy 😊 
Thanks to humor and my fits of laughter,
home is never quiet.

I appreciate your continued prayer support 🙏 

PS: Please feel free to share my posts. Please subscribe to get updates on your email. Thanks 🤗 

It grew 1 cm overnight! Photo taken on 5th February
A book with illustration, written by a cancer warrior
Homemade noodle made from pork liver, by chef Tobias 👨‍🍳 Sounds nasty but yummy 😋😃
Vegetable lasagna by chef Tobias 👨‍🍳 Truly living the motto: Happy wife, happy life ☺️🥰
The fragrance fill up my home Photo taken a week later, on 13th February.
Follow my Instagram @titien.maier or Twitter @TitienMaier to get updates on Today’s Praise

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