WHY I NEED A SALVATION

I don’t dare,
to stand on higher ground,
I only knelt before Him,
the way I talked to Him,
is to sing worship to Him.
I can’t see His face,
too bright.
But, I know He is the Almighty,
He is my savior,
I feel known and loved.
He is waiting for the time to walk me home 🏡.

:: I LOST MY RIGHTEOUSNESS

I understand what death means,
so I am able to grasp what
resurrection and salvation means.

In the past,
I never felt content,
I felt guilty for what I did,
I felt ashamed of who I was.

Some people,
pushed aside moral order,
or they denied that life meaning exists,
or they’ve fallen in dilemmas of life,
or they’ve manipulated others,
or they’ve discriminated others,
or they’ve sunk in despair,
or they’re selfish beyond cure,
or they’ve addicted on something,
or they’ve abused others,
or they’ve hating others,
and so on.

I knew I stand guilty before God,
I had offended the holiness of God.
I knew sin was not just big things like murder or blasphemy,
but in the past,
my righteousnesses were filthy as rags,
it included love of status,
it included eating disorders,
it included trying to get acceptance from men,
it included a depression,
it included suicidal thoughts,
It included hatred of enemies,
it included jealousy,
it included deceits of tongue and pride.
And so on.

::: I NEED A SALVATION

Of course,
Jesus asked for plan B,
He struggled,
He was deeply grieved,
to the point of death.

He asked His Father,
if it’s possible,
let this cup pass from Him,
yet not as His will,
but His Heavenly Father will be done.
Heavenly Father choose us over Him,
Jesus Christ’s anguished prayers remained unanswered,
Jesus Christ suffered and died for us.

The gift of salvation is free.
I am saved by faith.
Jesus died on the cross,
taking the penalty that I deserve – death.

There is no more important issue than
my eternal destiny.
Jesus had to die,
because He is the only one who can pay the penalty for my sins.
He has risen,
that’s why my faith is not futile.

Resurrection has meaning.
It assures me of my salvation.
Death is no longer my destination,
but a gateway to a perfect,
eternal life.

Friends,
one day,
He will draw you to salvation.
Reconciled with Him is a glorious truth!
I was God’s enemy,
but is now His beloved friend.
I am now forgiven.
I am now declared righteous,
because of my faith in the finished work of Jesus.

::: NEW BORN & NEW CREATION

I began acknowledging my sins.
A humble confession of my sins came to God.
There was a change of heart.
I became truly a follower of Christ,
I obey Christ’s instructions.
He calls me out of sin
and into righteousness.
I am a saved creation,
the old has gone,
the new has come,
These past 3 years
I felt content,
I felt loved,
I knew the meaning of my life,
I knew my purpose in life.

I knew I can’t earn forgiveness from God.
I knew I can’t pay for my forgiveness from God.
I knew I can only receive it,
by faith,
through the grace and mercy of God.

Friends,
maybe you’re wondering and worrying,
whether or not we are truly saved.
You can have no doubt about the reality of your eternal salvation.
Salvation is so clear.
Declare with your mouth, ‘Jesus is the Lord,’
and believe in your heart that our Heavenly Father raised Jesus from the dead,
then you will be saved.

Friends,
don’t doubt it.
Eternal life is just that—eternal.
There is no one,
not even yourself,
who can take Christ’s gift of salvation away from you.

Love,
Your Titien

Check this out:

“For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”
‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭5:21‬ ‭ESV‬‬


::: UPDATE ABOUT ME
3 Years 3 months Post Biopsy
Midline Pontine Glioblastoma/DIPG Grade IV

Now, Tobias takes care of me completely.
I 100% depend on Tobias, on everything.
Two days ago,
for the first time,
he needed to feed me,
my hands are too weak.
But, I have asked God,
to let me at the end of my life,
I still can have strength to type and to swallow.

I can’t hold my neck anymore.
I fall whenever I don’t sit up straight.
I lost all of my muscles and functions.
I cannot control my balance anymore.
I am getting weaker everyday.

I am getting worse rapidly, day by day.
Dexamethasone doesn’t slow down my symptoms from worsening.

Following the advice of my doctors, I keep decreasing dexamethasone in 2 mg increments every few days.
I am retaining so much water in my body.
I currently take 4 mg during breakfast (9 am), 4 mg during lunch (2 pm ).

Every morning,
Tobias gives me kisses,
I am so loved unconditionally by Tobias ♥️.
I depend 100% on him.
I have to learn to be patient with myself and trust that I don’t burden Tobias.

He is in pain too.
He needs to lift me up and hold my neck and head,
whenever I need him.
Somehow we now know how to do it better.

I am 100 % crippled,
I am 100 % disabled,
I 100 % lost my muscles,
I 100 %. lost my functions ,
I know ,
I can’t do anything about it.
Just so thankful for Tobias ♥️

My love Tobias
He is now love Asian food
Squeeze 😁🤣
This morning, I became heavier, I lost my 98% functions and muscles

22 Replies to “WHY I NEED A SALVATION”

  1. Hi Titien,
    so nice to read your post again. God loves you so much. You are and always have been a wonderful woman. We are human beings, we sin, we fail, we do wrong, but we also care, love, make others happy and do good in this world. The most important is that our sins don`t take presedence over our good deeds.
    I wish you a wonderful day with your husband!!! Much love and many hugs to you, beautiful!!

  2. Thank you for your continuous reassurance of God’s love for us!
    You are a truly remarkable and beautiful woman!
    Sending love and hugs❤️

  3. Thank you Titien for being such an inspiration. Your words are beautiful as is your spirit. Because of your blog I started talking to God again. I do not know you, but thank you for your bravery and openness in sharing your story. Take care, and much love.

  4. Titien and Tobias,

    You two are inspirational for your fortitude, and deep love for each other, and I’m so happy you have each other. I’m praying for you both during these unbelievably difficult circumstances. You have both touched many people with your words. Thank you for sharing your testimony, and such deeply personal thoughts and experiences.

    Lots of love from Los Angeles. 💕

  5. Sending love and prayers to you and Tobias. You are such a beautiful person ❤️ I’ve followed your journey for over a year and you have changed my life for the better. I love you sister ❤️

    1. Thanks Anne ♥️
      For your heartwarming comment 😃
      I don’t know you,
      but I love you too 🥰
      You’re loved 😘🤗
      Sending you love and hugs ♥️🥰👍😊

  6. Dear Titien and Tobias,

    I was introduced to your journey just a week ago….I’ve read all your blogs. I’m truly amazed of you two . You, guys so lovely, gentle and your bound is so strong. I’m terrified that the this decease happen to you. I’m so sorry. But you’re inspiration for army of people who are fighting and taking care of fighters. I’m 5 years survivor myself.
    I know that every time I’ll be seeing ducks and birds, being in bakery I’ll be thinking of you and Tobias.

    Deep hug for both of you,

    Uma from Philadelphia, USA.

    1. Wow 5 years survivor, and many more years in health ♥️👍😘
      Thanks Uma for thinking of us 👍😘
      Have a wonderful summer

  7. Hi Titien
    Thank you so much for continuing to inspire and encourage me and so many other readers and for assuring us of God’s saving grace. We’re all sinners in need of salvation, but you have attained a state of grace that fills me with great admiration, especially considering the terribly distressing circumstances caused by DIPG.
    You and Tobias are always in my thoughts and prayers. May God give you divine strength and peace.
    Hugs
    Elisabeth

  8. Comence a leer tu blog a las 3 a.m. de la mañana y no pude parar hasta terminarlo. Gracias por escribir sobre una realidad tan dura que es ajena para la mayoría de nosotros. Tus palabras son un fuerte recordatorio de que la vida de cualquier persona puede cambiar en un día. Admiro tu fuerza y tu determinación por encontrar calidad de vida en pequeños detalles que usualmente pasamos desapercibidos. En verdad gracias.
    Mis mejores deseos para ambos en esta etapa tan complicada.
    Abrazos desde México.

    1. Haha Laura 🤗
      I do hope you have enough sleep though.
      Thanks for reading my stories.
      Have A wonderful summer ♥️ in Mexico 🇲🇽

  9. Hi Titien,
    I learned about you and Tobias as I read about your recent trip to your favorite bakery. Since then you two have been in my thoughts. I admire the strength you show, how you dare to share so much, how you find joy in the small things (as one always should do, but it is easy to forget), and your smiles — my wife said that you have a beautiful one 🙂
    A big hug from Lyon!

    1. Haha,
      I am so happy. Please say thanks to your wife 👍😆. Thanks for remembering us in your thoughts ♥️👍🤗
      Have a wonderful summer

  10. Beautiful!!!! Reading your poem and declaration of faith brought tears to my eyes. What’s Just as beautiful are your photos. Love you Titien and Tobias. You’re always on my mind and in my prayers.

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