I don’t dare,
to stand on higher ground,
I only knelt before Him,
the way I talked to Him,
is to sing worship to Him.
I can’t see His face,
But, I know He is the Almighty,
He is my savior,
I feel known and loved.
He is waiting for the time to walk me home 🏡.
:: I LOST MY RIGHTEOUSNESS
I understand what death means,
so I am able to grasp what
resurrection and salvation means.
In the past,
I never felt content,
I felt guilty for what I did,
I felt ashamed of who I was.
pushed aside moral order,
or they denied that life meaning exists,
or they’ve fallen in dilemmas of life,
or they’ve manipulated others,
or they’ve discriminated others,
or they’ve sunk in despair,
or they’re selfish beyond cure,
or they’ve addicted on something,
or they’ve abused others,
or they’ve hating others,
and so on.
I knew I stand guilty before God,
I had offended the holiness of God.
I knew sin was not just big things like murder or blasphemy,
but in the past,
my righteousnesses were filthy as rags,
it included love of status,
it included eating disorders,
it included trying to get acceptance from men,
it included a depression,
it included suicidal thoughts,
It included hatred of enemies,
it included jealousy,
it included deceits of tongue and pride.
And so on.
::: I NEED A SALVATION
Jesus asked for plan B,
He was deeply grieved,
to the point of death.
He asked His Father,
if it’s possible,
let this cup pass from Him,
yet not as His will,
but His Heavenly Father will be done.
Heavenly Father choose us over Him,
Jesus Christ’s anguished prayers remained unanswered,
Jesus Christ suffered and died for us.
The gift of salvation is free.
I am saved by faith.
Jesus died on the cross,
taking the penalty that I deserve – death.
There is no more important issue than
my eternal destiny.
Jesus had to die,
because He is the only one who can pay the penalty for my sins.
He has risen,
that’s why my faith is not futile.
Resurrection has meaning.
It assures me of my salvation.
Death is no longer my destination,
but a gateway to a perfect,
He will draw you to salvation.
Reconciled with Him is a glorious truth!
I was God’s enemy,
but is now His beloved friend.
I am now forgiven.
I am now declared righteous,
because of my faith in the finished work of Jesus.
::: NEW BORN & NEW CREATION
I began acknowledging my sins.
A humble confession of my sins came to God.
There was a change of heart.
I became truly a follower of Christ,
I obey Christ’s instructions.
He calls me out of sin
and into righteousness.
I am a saved creation,
the old has gone,
the new has come,
These past 3 years
I felt content,
I felt loved,
I knew the meaning of my life,
I knew my purpose in life.
I knew I can’t earn forgiveness from God.
I knew I can’t pay for my forgiveness from God.
I knew I can only receive it,
through the grace and mercy of God.
maybe you’re wondering and worrying,
whether or not we are truly saved.
You can have no doubt about the reality of your eternal salvation.
Salvation is so clear.
Declare with your mouth, ‘Jesus is the Lord,’
and believe in your heart that our Heavenly Father raised Jesus from the dead,
then you will be saved.
don’t doubt it.
Eternal life is just that—eternal.
There is no one,
not even yourself,
who can take Christ’s gift of salvation away from you.
Check this out:
“For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”
2 Corinthians 5:21 ESV
::: UPDATE ABOUT ME
3 Years 3 months Post Biopsy
Midline Pontine Glioblastoma/DIPG Grade IV
Now, Tobias takes care of me completely.
I 100% depend on Tobias, on everything.
Two days ago,
for the first time,
he needed to feed me,
my hands are too weak.
But, I have asked God,
to let me at the end of my life,
I still can have strength to type and to swallow.
I can’t hold my neck anymore.
I fall whenever I don’t sit up straight.
I lost all of my muscles and functions.
I cannot control my balance anymore.
I am getting weaker everyday.
I am getting worse rapidly, day by day.
Dexamethasone doesn’t slow down my symptoms from worsening.
Following the advice of my doctors, I keep decreasing dexamethasone in 2 mg increments every few days.
I am retaining so much water in my body.
I currently take 4 mg during breakfast (9 am), 4 mg during lunch (2 pm ).
Tobias gives me kisses,
I am so loved unconditionally by Tobias ♥️.
I depend 100% on him.
I have to learn to be patient with myself and trust that I don’t burden Tobias.
He is in pain too.
He needs to lift me up and hold my neck and head,
whenever I need him.
Somehow we now know how to do it better.
I am 100 % crippled,
I am 100 % disabled,
I 100 % lost my muscles,
I 100 %. lost my functions ,
I know ,
I can’t do anything about it.
Just so thankful for Tobias ♥️