I wish you a year full of love, joy and goodness, meaning and purpose.
::: NEW DAY VS. NEW YEAR
For most people, a New Year is cause for celebration, for spending time with family and friends, for reflection and resolutions.
As counting down begins and fireworks explode in the sky, we recognize the special symbol of new beginning and fresh start. A new desire and hope born in our heart.
I remember in the past I used to do “New Year Rituals and Resolutions”, by setting things straight like a thorough housecleaning, mending quarrels, calling parents on the phone and contacting relatives I haven’t spoken to for a year, making right relationships, discipline more, writing messages to everyone and thanking them, etc.
Well, I no longer do that since last year. Since I got cancer, I learned that for me every day is a brand new day.
Every morning is a fresh start, a new opportunity, a grace and constant mercy of God.
Time is too precious for me to have yearly custom and tradition program it for me. It’s wonderful to be able to make a choice what I want to do today. I don’t want to delay it, waste it nor regret it.
(By the way, just now I think of my grandma and I called her right away, not waiting until tomorrow’s new year time.)
Every day, every moment is new and unique. Never is a moment neglected. Never is a moment repeated.
So, new day or new year, resolution and goal, what matters is just do it.
::: NEW MEANING OF EXISTENCE
I don’t make resolutions, but I do reflect.
2018 we faced battles and hurdles, also blessings. I saw many friends fight and bleed, loose and win, fail and succeed, feel pain and receive forgiveness, resent and give thanks, get married and divorce, give birth and losing loved ones, grief and joy, etc.
When I scroll down all welcoming 2019 posts on social media, I see 2018 waving with it’s new title “old year”. It struck me then how we view “old”, which I think comes from the reality of the mortality of human, fragility of human.
Old and new!
What is “new”, apart of a number switch to 2019, for our life?
There is nothing really new under the sun. Technology advancing, but those innovations do not significantly change the world. Human nature has remained and will remain the same. Same cycle human activities. Humility is still corrupted.
I saw much pain, diseases, injustice, disasters. There’s no safety for human existence. This world is a place of instability and chaos and death, yet we spend time here.
Humans fight for resources, compete and one-up each other, one win one loses, someone having abundance above someone else’s loss and dies, full of hypocrisy. Life is like a survival game.
So, what then is the meaning to exist in this world of vanities?
The key that bring me hope and peace is my faith. I uphold the promise of God who is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow, said “I am making all things new”. I believe there will be a new earth and a new heaven, where there’s no suffering nor death. I know where I’m going to in afterlife.
Meanwhile, on this earth now, thanks Jesus Christ came and summons us to a new way of life, that the meaning of human existence is love.
Therefore, although my physical existence is wasting away, but that’s not the end of my story, because I am being renewed as a new creation, that is my identity in Christ. This is my victory.
And since then my existence is about love.
To live loving God and loving others.
Experiencing heaven on earth.
::: NEW HEART
What is the desires of your heart for 2019?
The heart is the center of human existence.
We understand, we make connections, we discern good and bad, we think, we feel emotions, we feel fear and joy, and we make choices with our heart.
Many times circumstances affecting our heart. Recent bad news about my cancer progressing truly affected my heart, fear and anxiety is progressing fast too.
But by grace, soon I am aware of my broken heart and seek help. By yearning through prayer to the LORD, by crying openly to my husband, by talking about it to good friends. My heart restored again.
The desire of my heart is to give meaning and purpose to my life. And my life will be meaningful when I could encourage and bringing light to you and others.
::: NEW GIFT 🎁 FROM TOBIAS
On my previous “MERRY CHRISTMAS” post, I mentioned that I got a Christmas present which I will reveal to you.
My Christmas present is a website!
Check it out: titien.de
I received many uplifting messages from you for me to write a book.
When I’m weak, I often read my articles that I posted, and get encouraged by my own writing.
Therefore, I hope my stories in titien.de, which I dedicate to you, could be a blessing for you and more others.
Enjoy reading and don’t forget to subscribe! http://titien.de
::: UPDATE ABOUT ME
Midline pontine glioblastoma grade-IV (1 year 8 months post biopsy)
I had re-radiation 3x before New Year, and so far the side effects are minor. I still have weakness on my right arm, intenser tingling pain on left arm, weakness on walking, head pressure, difficulty in speaking.
12x more to go. Appreciate your prayer 🙏
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”Jeremiah 29:11 NIV
“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23 NIV
“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” Ezekiel 36:26 NIV